Sunday, December 20, 2009

are you really in love?

Earlier today, I was just thinking about this. I had the conversation with a few on Facebook and Twitter - and I thought it's blog-worthy.

Whenever somebody breaks up with a guy who they've been going out with for like a month, and they cry like they were married; I wanna tell them to shut up. Honestly. I've learned by now that you can't just find the one at this age, because you're still figuring out the person you are. Of course, there's going to be misunderstandings and arguments. That's normal. But if you can't hold on any longer, just let go. There will be other guys. We're still young, we're still exploring new stuff. So, whenever you're with a guy, please don't set your hopes too high. If you do, and things go wrong, you'll be even more heartbroken and that's tough.

Nowadays, teenagers just date for fun. Sometimes the word "Love" doesn't even mean a thing. And that's the problem. I know guys who only date girls because they "want" something. I know girls who date guys for the sake of having a boyfriend and that's my point. It's all fate. You can find "the one" at this age, but you never know if there was "another one".

"Omg, he's the one for me!!!": Thoughts like that are the things that break our hearts even more when you break up with a boy. I've learned from seeings others make that mistake that setting your hopes too high in a boy, especially as a teenager, can end really defectively.

I mean, I totally understand that things change when you're with someone, and things change again if they leave. I understand that you're with a guy, and when he leaves you miss him terribly. You want him back.

But if you think about it... Is it really about him, after all? Or is it about having somebody there for YOU? To make you feel special, to be there with a shoulder to lean on. Love is much more than that. Some teenagers are too naive to even take that in and believe it.

When you're with a boy... You don't come back the next day and make yourself believe he's the one. No, that can break your heart more than anything in the world. Wanna know why? Simple... What if he's NOT "the one"?

Has anybody ever wondered about their "the one", anyway? Other than who they are, of course. But nobody has ever figured out that there may be more than just one "the one's?" Or nobody has ever figured out that maybe you will take a wrong turn in life, turning you away from "the one"? It's never like that, no. Everybody is just too focused on finding a happily ever after to even appreciate what they have in front of them.

Sometimes you take one little step that you weren't supposed to in life, and everything becomes erroneous. Your "happily ever after" isn't so happy anymore.

Just... Take my advice. Please. Don't set your hopes too much for any boy. Don't change for any boy. Don't let any boy or for that matter anyBODY define your happiness! Or define the person that you are!

Remember, you can't love anybody else until you love yourself. And that goes for everything. You can't do something before you figure out the person you are. You can't follow a dream that's not yours.

I'll talk to you all very soon! I love you all!!

EDIT1: I know I sound so mature for a fifteen year old, but I like to think of solutions for problems that most teenagers don't look upon. I like to use big words. I love to express my thoughts and opinions into a piece of writing. I am so thankful every single day that God gave me a very special gift. A gift that can change the world, that can inspire. And I believe in myself. I believe that one day, I can change the world with my words.

That is something I wish to pursue one day. So thank you for supporting me and being there. <3

EDIT2: While I love for you to keep this advice for your future, I also advise you not to guarantee that this whole blog is the truth based on your life. Because everybody is different, everybody has their time. Time of birth, time of death, time of marriage, time of... So on. This blog was directed to a few people that I know of that set their hopes too high when they get a boyfriend. I never said you can't find love at this age, but if you're too focused on finding "the one", it makes it harder for you to deal with heartbreaks.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

i have a dream

Do you remember when I wrote a blog about people with dreams, who are afraid of going after their dreams? I wrote that I didn't want to make that mistake. A mistake of letting somebody else tear away my dreams, and me giving up.

But I am making that mistake right now. It's almost as if I'm losing the person that I am. Like I wasn't supposed to be that person.

It feels as though I have nothing to live for, nothing more to give. I have a dream, I was willing to go after it... But the people in my life just don't understand. My friends do, but what are my friends going to do? Shove me on a plane and take me away? That's not possible.

I feel as though I've waited too late. Or that I was born into the wrong family. I want to have been born into a family that understands my dream, and allows me to go after it. You might be thinking that what kind of a family do I have? Don't think that. I love my parents too death, but they're not used to having a daughter with a dream.

I'm different than my brothers and sisters. I'm unique. I have a dream that I want to persue.

Nobody understands that. It's almost like I'm living a life that I don't want to live. What's the point, anyway?

On other news, it's summer vacation for me. I have to lighten up. I want to make this a summer I'll never forget. I hope you guys stay with me through this Summer Journey, I have a feeling a lot with happen that I will blog about.

Thank you for following my blogs and commenting for those who are. My 22 followers are probably the only thing I have left in me now.

But I love you guys, sooo much.

-Hiba

Thursday, December 10, 2009

fantasies and dreams

We all have fantasies. Most of these fantasies are probably impossible - But some of them aren't 100% impossible. Fantasy is sometimes better than reality. It washes your mind and makes you smile.

But then the time comes where you must face reality and forget your fantasies. Where you realize/think that your fantasy isn't going to happen. It makes you depressed. I'll use an example: You fantasize about being with your favorite celebrity. You've probably got a 10% chance of that happening - Depends on where and who you are. And when you realize that it might not happen, and a million other girls want it to happen to them... You get sad and miserable.

Then you just don't care anymore. You feel like there's no reason for you to care and keep trying. That's how I'm feeling right now.

In my family, I'm unique. Most of my sisters are just focused on finding a man, getting married and having children. But that's not me. And sometimes, my mum doesn't get it. I don't want to just get married and throw my life away. Sure, I might meet someone I really like when I'm older... But that doesn't mean we have to get married a few years later. I want to chase my dreams.

And that's why chasing my dreams, today, is so, so, so, sooo hard. Because nobody understands me. I come from a generation where nobody focuses on their dreams too much. None of my relatives were into the music, song-writing, hollywood type of thing. Which makes it hard for me.

Most celebrity's these days have at least one relative who are what they are. For example, Miley Cyrus' dad, Jonas' Brothers parents were in shows and into that musical stuff, Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato's parents understand their dreams and let them chase it at a very young age.

That's not like me. It's much harder for me because to me, none of my family members actually understand that I have a dream.

I have a dream and I am actually willing to fulfill it, one day.

If only I could get a glimpse of my future, that'd make things a lot better right now. I'm so confused. Like, what do I do now? Do I just give up?

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

opinionated part 2+exams

When I was younger... I thought that everybody had the same small little features. Same nose, same ears, same eye-shape, same mouth-shape - none of that really mattered because I didn't think there was anything to worry about.

As I grew older... I realized I was wrong. Everybody has different noses, mouths, ears, eyes. Now looking at that sentence, I'm just like, wow I must have been dumb!! But it wasn't any of the immature stupidity within me... It was the innocence. The innocence of being young and free. I never worried about homework, boys, my looks, my clothes... I mean, yeah, I wanted to look nice - but that wasn't at the top of my to-do list.

But now, all of that really matters - especially in a teenage life. Everyday I look at people and notice the different features they have to me. It always reminds me of that time where none of that mattered and everything was so innocently perfect.

I took all of that for granted. I wish somebody was there to remind me to appreciate it all cause everything could change very soon. Who knows, maybe someone did try to remind me. I probably never listened.

I hate it when life seems like it can't get any better... and BANG! Something little happens and your life falls back down again. I HATE IT. I've got exams now, and I'm stressing so much. I don't know what to do. What if I fail?

I'm going to go and try and study. Thanks for your support. <3

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

opinionated part 1

Before I go on, I'd like to ask for your opinion on something. Do you think it's possible in a few years to get all of these blogs and set them out straight - if you know what I mean - and create a book out of them for teenagers all around the world? Do you think it'll sell? I'd really like to show the world what I can do.

Second.. SORRY!! SORRY SORRY SORRY! I know I haven't been blogging in so long. My life is like... busy. School's almost over for the Summer, and I am willing to get good grades. Pray for me! And there's just problems with friends and boys and all of that normal teenage stuff. It's taking over my life!! AHHH!

Hahahah. So, how have you been???? Anything new happen? Anything I need to know about? Anything you'd like to talk to me about??? Whatever it is - I'm here!! :)

Moving on now.. We've all had that little argument with our parents, right? Do you know how much I hate it? It kills me, literally. My mum thinks she can control every minute of my life! I wish she could know that I have a social life and I'm SO different to every other teenager at my school BECAUSE of HER.

I know in every one of my blogs, I can be a total hypocrite. But you know what, I don't really mind. Because this is where I come to express what I feel and because I'm not perfect - I can be a hypocrite. Most of the times it's because I'm going against something but also trying to give myself a positive outlook on the situation, so I think of ways somebody would think if they were in the opposite position that I am in. It doesn't always work, but it sure does help.

I know most of you know a lot about me by now, but there's many things you probably don't. I'm very opinionated. I like to express my opinion, and I hate it when someone goes against my opinion. I know an opinion isn't a fact, I know that. But then people express THEIR opinion, go against YOURS, and pretend that what THEY'RE saying is the truth.. when it's NEVER the truth.

An opinion is an opinion. A fact is a fact. You can't sit there and say "In my opinion, banana's are yellow." Or "In my opinion, the sky is blue." Or "In my opinion, the clouds are..." And you know where I'm going with this. ;) Haha. That's my point. Those things I just said.. They're not opinions... They're facts. They're the truth.

I don't even know where I'm going with this entire blog, and I need to go to sleep. Part 2 will be up tomorrow!!!!!!

I love you all with every little piece of my heart. You mean the world to me, honestly. You're beautiful in every possible way and I can't even seem to live without you. ANY of you.

THANK YOU FOR BEING AMAZING FRIENDS. :) -Hibz


P.S: I'd like to personally thank all of my amazing 21 followers on my blog. But still, I only get about 1-3 comments in each blog. I really would like to know that you're reading. A simple "I'm reading" is fine, too. And due to past experiences, only those with accounts can comment - and 21 of you do have an account. I just really hope I'm not writing to myself. Please let me know if you're reading. Thank you. xoxoxo

Sunday, November 8, 2009

blog 4 da h8ters

sometimes I just want to say a few things to haters out there. so ima get right to it.

okay so, hi. we haven't met before, have we? how's lif- aw, what? you hate me? but how can you possibly hate someone you don't even know? that's ridiculous! AND it makes me laugh, so good on you!

honestly.. i really don't give a shit if you hate a band or an artist. i respect that. but if you're gonna be such a b*tch about it to me.. well then expect something in return. but from my experiences, this is how it all works:

get criticized for liking a band/artist.
get called names.
have that band/artist bagged on.
complain about you complaining.

AND if the hater gets a lotta shit in return:

apologize.

this is all pointless, this fighting. i mean, you can't POSSIBLY think that if you bag out a band that i like, i'm not gonna say anything? of course i am. but EXPECT IT in return. a lotta haters complain about you complaining. "i've moved on now" "she's being immature" "you're wasting your time".

what the HECK do you do for a living? criticize someone and just "move on"? start a fight and tell the person THEY'RE wasting their time? wow, man.

you really need to find some love within yourself. i'm sure it's there somewhere.

my point is.. we're all different people. that's why there's different things in the world. different clothes, different food, different music, movies, colors.. it's because we're all different. so saying something like it's a fact like "____ suck so bad, go listen to real music!" is NOT a fact. it's just an opinion. sometimes opinions can be wrong, even if that doesn't make sense.

what's "good music", anyway? good music should be told from EVERYBODY's perspective. because that type of music may seem "good" to you, however, it may not seem "good" to others.

get that in your mind buddy!

and plus, why do you even care what other people listen to? is this your first step to "taking over the world"? hahahaha. you make me laugh.

it's not like the people who listen to bands you hate are gonna shove their iPod's earphones into your ears!!!!!!

SERIOUSLY.

you can listen to whatever you want, i DON'T care. just do me favor and let me listen to whatever i want? if you weren't so nosy, it wouldn't effect you.

and if it is, what's it effecting? the band YOU like to lose fans? the world turning into mars? your grandma dancing in public? that band/artist taking over youtube? taking over the world? ohhhh, i know! you're afraid if they take over the world and make everybody wear pink and lovehearts, aren't you!

that's the thing...... NONE of these reasons SHOULD be effecting you JUST because of what OTHER people like.

live your life. you don't need to care how others live theirs.

so goodnight. and goodbye. (although it's morning now, i wrote this last night).

love you guys, xo -hibz

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

support others

I know that I have not lived that long yet, and I do know that I have yet more to face. But I've lived long enough to realize that there are different types of worlds and each day, we're in a different one. There's a cold world. There's a warm world. There's a cloudy world. A rainy world. A happy world.

Life can be cruel but life can be sweet. Just like people are cruel, and people are sweet. It all connects in. If you have ever struggled in your life.. Don't feel afraid or alone.

On November the 13th, support those who are struggling dealing with life by writing "Love" on your hands. When someone asks why, tell them about this.

I don't want any of you feeling low and depressed - because I know that you're strong enough to battle that part of the day and skip it. Just simply skip it.

Love you all.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

nobody's life is perfect

when things go wrong for me.. i always end up compare my life to those who are way more fortunate than i am (famous people)... and i have no idea why. i know that it's not gonna make me feel better, but i just always happen to do that. and what happens? "argh, i bet demi lovato's life is never like this". it just.. happens. i compare my life with another person's life who i know isn't as bad as mine. or happen to "think" it.

i have no idea where this blog is even leading you to but ima just keep going.

even though i ALWAYS do it, it annoys me when we compare bad times to another celebrities life and say "i bet this this that never went through this!". i know that it annoys them too.

because.. well, you see the person that the media has a spotlight on. you don't see the person who she/he really is.

and assuming that their life is "faaaaaaaaaaantastic" just because they're famous and everybody knows their name, they don't have bad days, is pointless.

because it definitely doesn't make you feel any better, and it doesn't make anybody else feel better, either.

i'm being a total hypocrite saying this right now, but i guess while i'm writing this blog.. i'm writing it for me. i just want a person to tell me this.. to tell me to knock out of it.. to tell me that blaming bad days on other people is ridiculous.

and yes i'm crazy enough to even attempt to tell myself.

but i'm also telling you. because even though it's hard to believe, i know that at least ONE person out there goes through what I go through.

and i want to be able to help me. and you.

it's been way too long that i haven't blogged, si?

forgive me on that. every time i attempt to write a blog... i fail.

but i'm only fourteen, almost fifteen. i've still got a whole life ahead of me.

a whole lot of stories to tell.

secrets to keep.

promises to make.

love to give.

and i hope.. that when i'm 20.. i'd still have this blog.

and that YOU still KNOW about this blog.

stay with me, folks...... by the time i'm 20, let's hope you don't even have to search for me because my blog would already be bookmarked on your computer! :P

love you so much. honestlyyy. i love you with everything in me. nothing can explain what i FEEL when you guys compliment me. when you tell me that I, a smalltown teenage girl, inspire YOU.

and a lot has happened over the past week.. that i can't seem to forget.. words do hurt. i know i've been telling you forever now, but it is true. and everybody needs remindings of the truth. because words do hurt.

but words do heal.

love you. xox -hibz

Sunday, October 11, 2009

when you hurt online

It took me this long to realize how much damage being online can cause. And I'm not only talking about the obvious reasons like stalking and chatting to strangers. I'm talking about the arguments happening, people getting hurt because somebody comments their Facebook picture in a negative way.

I was reading Miley's blog last night. She made me open my eyes.

The internet has a lot of amazing things. It allows you to chat with your friends without having a phone or being face-to-face with them. It allows you to find out the latest gossip about your favorite celebrities. It allows you to speak to the world behind just a screen. But.. It also allows you to talk about somebody negatively, anonymously. With no consequences at all. All that will happen is the bully will feel good about themselves and you will feel worse.

And nobody can really help you. You're on your own. And it hurts. Oh boy, does it hurt. Not only the fact that you're being bitched about. But by somebody who you might or might not even know. Somebody who might go to your school. Somebody who might be your friend. A stranger that doesn't even know you. You don't know anything at all because this person was too afraid of letting you know who they are but not afraid of saying something bad about you.

Sure, we all have opinions. But bullying is never just an opinion. It's way more than that. Because ya'll just take it way too far.

I'm not going to lie and say I have never talked about somebody in my life before. Because I know I have. And I am sure YOU have too. Because none of us are perfect.

But.. It's our imperfections that make us who we are today. We make a mistake. We see the result it causes. We learn from that mistake and try to never repeat it again. That's how I learned.

Some people.. Decide to learn the hard way. Make a mistake. See the result it causes. Ignore the result and keep making that mistake without actually realizing it's a mistake.

There are different types of people in the world. Sensitive.. Shy.. Outgoing.. Crazy.. But the hard part is that you have to think of what you're going to post online because everybody might take it in a different way.

I might get offended about something you said but another person may not. It's just what makes us different people. We have different minds and thoughts.

But that's why you should think about what you're going to post online. For everybody to see. Because "everybody" aren't always who you think they are and therefore, not everything revolves around you and what YOU think.

I think that we all need breaks from the online-world every once in a while. Not only because you have to socialize with people face-to-face and not just behind a computer screen.. But because of everything you are getting caught up with through the internet.

All the gossip sites, the youtube channels, the social-networking sites.. They're addictive. You WANT to and you feel the NEED to get on everyday to check new stuff out. Who has left comments on your pictures? Who commented on your Youtube videos? Did Fred post a new vid?! OMGG MILEY DID WHAT!!!? Tweet Tweet Tweet!

We're all getting caught up in the w0rld that we're staring at from behind a computer screen. A world that we can never really enter.. Just stare at. Get sucked in slowly..

I just want you to you my sweetness.. That there's more to life than Facebook and Twitter and even OceanUP. There's a whole world out there and it's calling your name. If you ever get tired of those selfish people online.. Don't be afraid to simply shut down your computer.

Sit outside in the sunshine, perhaps. I did, yesterday. For hours. I had my earphones in and I replayed "Black Keys" over and over again. It felt good. It felt like everything was blocked out. No computer. No Twittering. Nothing. Just a way of spending time with myself and trying to figure out who I am.

You should try it, my loves. It really is amazing to just let go of that computer-mouse, take your eyes off the computer-screen and just speak to the world without typing.

And who knows? Maybe you'll find out something new without having to Google it. ;) I love you!!

P.S This blog was written for EVERYBODY out there. Because right now you are on the internet. How did you get to this page? It all travels around. And in some sort of way.. It was also written for ME. Because.. I need reminders, myself. I'm not perfect.

xoxo -Hibz

Saturday, October 10, 2009

you are beautiful.

There's day in my life where I have a reason to be sad. But then again, there's sometimes days when I am sad and feeling depressed.. I realize it's for no reason that I know of. After I give myself a reality check, I expect myself to feel happier.. but that never just "changes".

I don't know why.

Some of you know what kind of person I am. Some of you don't. And some of you take advantage of it (you know who I'm talking about). I have.. modes, I guess you can call it. Life modes. I'm sensitive and I'm fragile. I take things seriously. My heart gets broken very easily. It's annoying sometimes. I'm also.. two different people, I guess you can call it. One time I'll be very quite and kind of to myself a bit. But the next, I'll be out there being all crazy and that. I'm sure that a lot of people in the world are like me.

But sometimes I just can't bring myself to believe in that. I feel alone.

Sometimes.. I just want somebody to be there to understand everything I'm saying, even if I'm mumbling words. You guys are always there. But it's kind of hard to explain things online.

I can't always be with my best-friend and I'm not close with my mum.

So I kind of have to deal with things myself. Which is so, so hard for me because I have a lot of things on my plate right now from school to family to general girl problems.

I guess the only thing I can turn to sometimes is my laptop or my diary. To write. When I write, I don't write staring into the future. I just write because I want to let things out, not because I want to remember this day forever.

Writing something down is exactly like letting it all out for me. Writing helps me and that's why I love it.

Some of you may be having tough times in your life right now. If it's losing a close friend/family member.. Losing something or someone you can not replace. Dealing with friendship or relationship problems.

I just want you to know something.

There's always going to be somebody you can turn to. Or something.

If it's God, your mum, your friends, your computer, your diary.. After letting it all out, you'll feel better.

Just remember that I'M there, too. That I'm sitting here.. Just thinking of you all. Because I love you that much..

So next time you feel down and upset.. I want you to keep reminding yourself that you're beautiful. Inside, outside and all other sides.

And if you can't remind yourself, let ME remind YOU.

Because you really are beautiful. <3

-Hibz

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

you're amazing. yes, you.

When someone compliments you, don't you feel good?

When someone compliments you about a talent, you feel even better.

You guys are amazing. Incredibly amazing. I can't thank you enough but I am going to try to. So here I go..

Wow. Nothing can explain the feeling that I get when people tell me good things about the thing I love doing most: Writing. I love to write. It's a passion. It grew on me as I grew older and it is still growing on me. I'm learning new things each day and it's amazing to be able to tell you guys by writing a song. Your words mean a lot to me, honestly.

YOU'RE the reason why I am still writing today. Why I have kept my faith. You guys have helped me much more than you know. The comments you leave, leave butterflies in my stomach because I am so excited to show you more and show the rest of the world when it's time.

When you tell me that I'VE inspired YOU, that inspires ME. You have no idea. It's just amazing to have been blessed with a talent that helps me with life. When I have a tough day, I write and from my writing, comes songs. It helps me get everything all out.

I'm not going to deny that I have a talent. The point of having a talent is believing and realizing that you DO have a talent. The talent grows stronger by the day. And when people remind me that I have a talent, I don't tell them "Noo, I don't.." and blush. I don't say "I know!!!" either. I thank them.

I also thank God. For blessing me with something that I love so much and that you guys support me with. Without your love and support, I wouldn't believe in myself as much as I do today.

So THANK YOU. I love you with all of my heart. <3

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

what's the point?!

what's the point of putting others down? what's the point? is it so you can feel good and powerful and bigger than us? is it because you think your opinion is always needed everywhere? is it because you think what you're saying is right but really, it's not?

well i'll tell you something. i'm not interested in what you think you're doing for me or anybody else. if i ask for your opinion, sure, tell me. but you have no right coming onto my personal blog and giving me your shit-ass comments which i do not need. i don't need someone who's afraid of letting me know who they're really are.. telling ME that I'M talking shit.

who are you to tell me that? oh, right.. nobody knows.. cause you're a little scared shit who has nothing better to do than comment on the blogs that they do not like.

and the worst part is, i would have thought you're, you know, brave or whatever but that all washed off my mind when i saw you commented as a anonymous.

scared much?

are you afraid if i tell people about you, they'd see the true you? the one that tries insulting another person JUST to make yourself feel a little better?

of course, we all have our own opinions. sometimes our opinions can give us big-heads. this is the case. an opinion isn't the TRUTH. it's just a person's perspective of something in-particular. and here you are, making it sound like you're some top bitch. you don't own me. you don't own australianFFE. you don't own this blog. you don't and never will own the jonas brothers, either.

which means you can't tell others when to and when not to speak about them and where to and where not to. which means you can't tell ME what to talk about on the Twitter that I CREATED for fans to connect.

Oh. Yeah. So you're telling me that I'm not allowed to write personal tweets just because it's a twitter for Jonas Brothers fans? Hahahaha. You crack me up. I don't want the fans to look at our Twitter and find info they can find pretty much anywhere else. It's not all about the info. It's about bonding between OTHER JB fans. Personal tweets help when you wanna make friends with people you connect with.

get a life asshole.

maybe you should think about it at least?

so instead of commenting me with those pointless opinions of yours when you know that i will not appreciate them, don't comment at all.

it's simple. it's easy.

p.s sorry for calling you a bitch and an asshole. i should have thought of something more insulting.

p.p.s i'm not just going to let you get away with anything you do, even if i don't know who you are. i'm not going to look like a girl who's afraid of standing up for herself when people give her shit like this because i'm not that girl

byeeeeee loser..

and as for everybody else who's been supporting me.. thank you.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

hearts like sand

have you ever felt alone? like you're the only person in the whole entire world feeling the way you do? like the walls to your bedroom are closing in on you slowly? like you just wanna run away and never look back? like you just wanna rewind time and change everything?

i have. i am. right now.

when you lose all your hope and faith.. you can't turn to anybody. and i hate to say this.. but not even God. if you lose your faith, you lose your belief. and that's what's killing me at the moment.

when things don't go my way, of course i'm all like "god why are you doing this to me, god why is this happening, why am i so imperfect blah blah blah".. it's because when things happen.. you NEED someone to blame..you can't just blame yourself for your problems..you need somebody else to blame..not saying it'll make you feel any better, most of the time, but it does get a little feather off your back.

i hate being so sensitive. it gets to me all the time. i get offended for OTHER people. imagine if i get offended for MYSELF - how bad that is for me..i don't like being so sensitive and fragile. my heart is like dry sand on the beach..you touch one little bit..and my heart falls apart. you touch it with your finger, and viola.. there's a hole. that's how fragile i am.

and this leads to me being a quiet person. a quiet person who likes to keep to herself sometimes. but then.. things change. especially when i'm with my friends and, i don't know, like had an energy drink or something.. i just act all crazy and sarcastic and funny and all of that.

it's annoying. the fact that i'm practically two people...but those two people have the same "settings", i guess you can call it.

these two people have sand hearts. but these two people aren't exactly the same.

it's like hannah montana in real life..only i don't wear a wig, i'm not a secret rockstar and i don't get paid to be two different people. it's weird how somebody is getting paid to ACT like a real person can be. oh and did i mention the fact that i ain't miley cyrus? sometimes i wish i could be.

and no, not just to get close to "nick jonas" or be well known across the world.. it's much more than that. so i could have parents that KNOW what i'm going through..that support me ALL the time..so i could have friends and fans who also support me and are always there when i need someone to talk to.

my parents do support me. but not as much as i wish they could. they're the type that just want to see me get married and have kids and live happily ever after and the end. i don't want my life to be like this. i always argue with my mum and this is the main reason why. i hate it when she thinks she can control my life and take over.

nobody can change the way i sometimes feel about her when she's not fair to me. everybody tells me it's because she's afraid of letting me go or whatever.. but there's a whole world out there and it's calling my name. i don't want to ignore it and i'm not going to. of course i would love to get married and create a family.. but one day. i'm not rushed for anything like that because i know once i get married and have kids, i'm going to be a lot busier. i need to have time for my kids and husband and all of that wife/mum sorta thing. i don't want that to happen before anything else happens that i WANT to live.

persuing your dream, when you want to become a well known artist/writer, takes a long, long time, wheather you want it to or not (especially when you're dad wasn't an artist back in his days and um, isn't called billy ray cyrus or anything like that). getting married and having children doesn't take a very long time, if you want it to and CAN take a long time if you want it to.

my daddy is always on my side.. well, not always but i'm much more closer to him than i am with my mum. i've always wished to have a mum i could tell anything to. a mum that could be my best-friend. but i guess i'm never going to have that mum. but i can not wait to have a daughter, who when she becomes a teenager, trusts me enough to tell me anything she wants to.

i guess i get jealous because my best-friend and her mum have the bestest relationship i have ever seen. they're like best-friends. she tells her mum everything and her mum supports her. but then.. she's not like that with her dad. she's not close with her dad, i am. she's close with her mum, i'm not.

it's like she has the mother i never had and i have the father she never had.

this and that happened and then i came to conclusion.. that everybody has two modes. everything is at least two different people.

NOBODY is one person ALL the time. *cough cough*, especially if you're a girl and you PMS like, i don't know, every month..and your mood changes like, oh i don't know, EVERY DAY!!

and then it OFFICIALLY concludes to the fact that i am NEVER alone..even though it may be hard to imagine or believe..but there is always somebody else in the world that feels the way you do.

and if it's too hard to imagine.. you've always got your LORD. you've always got JESUS. you've always got MOHAMMED (prophet). you've got MARY. they are all looking down at you..hoping that you keep holding on..

And you've also got ME..beautiful friends..I was going through a hard time. a very hard time, actually. and writing this blog, like i'm speaking directy TO you..made me feel better inside.

remember that you've always got at least someone to turn to when times are tough. for me, it's God..well, and my laptop. if you can't find anybody to turn to..turn to ME.

i'll be there.

and to all the other hearts out there that are like sand..i'm proud to say sometimes our hearts being so fragile can be a good thing. not ONLY are we considered "relatives" BUTTTT we can also save ourselves from those people who joke around just a bit tooooo much..who one day might do something really stupid and you regret ever letting them in or blah blah.

te-quiero, amigas.. para-siempre y alguna-vez. i love you all forever.. and ever.

AND for the record.. if you DON'T like my blogs, DON'T comment. it's simple and easy. i don't need to hear your 2-cent comments, thank you very much.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

dreams..

i've literally been sitting on my computer for so long.. thinking of what to blog about. i hate when these writers blocks make their way towards me and my life. it's so annoying and frustrating; especially because writing is important to me. when you can't do something you love - it gets on your nerves.

anyhoo - moving on now. it's about time i actually write a blog that's worth reading!

do you have parents who protect you a little.. too much? have you ever been forbidden to go after your dream? are your parents afraid of letting you go? are you stuck in the house? do you wanna get out into the real world and go after your dream.. but somebody in your life is pulling you back?

i was thinking about it today.. some of you want to be an actor. some of you want to become a chef, an author, teacher, doctor, lawyer.. I respect whatever you're dream is. But always.. in every person's life.. there will be people that DON'T respect YOU and what YOU want to do.

you can't become a doctor when you're stuck inside of a room, only 4 walls surrounding you. you can't become a teacher if you don't go out and even TRY.

i just wish parents could understand that.

i was thinking today. I had an argument with my mum and after a while I'm like, "who am i kidding? i'll never become well-known or successful for what i love doing." I mean, in my opinion, if you can't become who you want to become in life, there's no point in living it. some of you don't know who you want you become because you don't know who you are RIGHT NOW.

there always has to be a place where you start, for you to jump onto something else.

my point is.. don't hold back. fight for what you believe. fight for yourself. do you want to live your life doing something you never wanted to do? and being a person you don't wanna be? i don't think so.

never ever ever EVER let a single person hold you back from your dream.

sometimes, it's YOU who's holding back YOU.. don't do that.. it hurts. it hurts to see you hurt yourself. honestly, it does. when you let this happen, i lose my faith.

i've seen people make these kind of mistakes. they're not "allowed" to be what they want to be so they just.. don't. they live a whole different life to what they had planned. i don't want to make that mistake.

and i don't want to see you making that mistake.

how are we supposed to believe when you don't? it's much harder to believe in something when you see others failing at it.

now of course, there's going to be times where i just sit back and think negativly like i just pointed out before. but that's normal. in the end, it's what's making me stronger.

and me being strong, is believing that YOU'RE strong as well..

so, my beautiful friends.. in the future, i want to be able to google your name and read something that will make me smile. i want to be able to read your name.. see your picture.. read what you're doing.. and i hope it's what you WANT to do.

NEVER let the fear of ANYTHING keep you from going after your dream.

a dream is a wish that you make.. a wish you want to be able to live forever doing.

have a good day, amiga's. and know that i am thinking of you.

xox -hibz

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

nicky j

I told ya I'd write a blog today! Because today is a very special day. Today is the day of Nick Jonas's birthday..

Wow - That was a lot of "days".

Well, it is! I'd like to wish Nick Jonas a very happy 17th birthday. I swear it feels like yesterday we were celebrating his 15th. And I was like, 12. Nobody was kidding around when they said time was traveling way too fast and we're getting older way too fast! Ha.

Right now.. I am licking my lips every second. No, not because I've got them covered in chocolate. Not because I'm wearing a lip-gloss that tastes like strawberries.. but because I'm fasting. AND MY LIPS ARE FREAKING DRY TO THE MAX. They have never been this dry.. and it's soo annoying. Oh well, only about an hour until I can drink water.. Yum, water. I was stuck at school today, in the hot weather.. watching people drink water. I was craving it. So bad. I was so thirsty.. But the sun was beautiful. :)

Okay, okay - I'll stop blabbing on about things you probably don't care about..

Did you guys hear about Kanye West & Taylor Swift? I am truly upset about the fact that I actually thought Kayne West was going up on the stage to CONGRATULATE Taylor.. not diss on her. Honestly, in my opinions.. I think it was a really stupid thing to do and Kanye didn't even think before going on stage. Taylor deserved that award. She's a really talented person. It was her first time winning a VMA. Beyonce' has won many VMA's. Why couldn't he let Taylor have her moment instead of humiliating her in front of soo many fellow celebrities, and fans.. and well, the world?

Beyonce' was truly being a beautiful person that she is. I loved it how she let Taylor re-do her speech later on.

What are your opinions on the incident that happened at the VMA's 2009 between Kenye West and Taylor Swift? Leave your thoughts in the comments for this blog! Love you all.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

i'm sorrrrry..

wow - i have not written a blog in, what feels like, so long! for this, i am truly sorry! i've been really busy and my writers block is no more.. for my song-writing. but now, i can't think of anything to write a BLOG about! stupid thing! ha. it's the last week of the term, and with all the reports and etc, i'm really busy. if you see me on twitter, i'm also doing my homework. it's so hard.

i promise to try and write a new blog as soon as i can. probably even tomorrow!

random news.. i'm learning spanish! estoy aprendiendo poco a poco espaƱol. Which means, "I'm slowly learning Spanish". Of course, it will take a while and I only should know the basic words that are used in every-day sentences. I've been having conversations with people that are actually spanish, in spanish - which is pretty cool..

anyway! so, i'm soo sorry guys. i love ya'll so much. for all your help and support. if i don't post a blog on nick's birthday.. you can seriously kill me. i'll kill myself. i must mark this date forever with a blog! hahaha.

i love you, once again. you all are amazing people.. truly. i think i know what to write my blog about tomorrow.. right now, i gotta go to bed. school tomorrow. :/

stay tuned my loves! -hibz

Thursday, September 10, 2009

more about me.

There's a lot you guys don't know about me just yet (and to think that was even possible!) so I will answer your questions on this blog!

Q; Who would you consider your biggest inspiration besides Jonas Brothers? (Nick Jonas) - Ashley

A; Well, the answer to that has to be Taylor Swift. I can relate to almost every one of her songs and it means a lot to be able to listen to this girl.. who used to be a normal teenager like me.. who went through bad times.. rough times.. bullying times.. (as she's said).. and now she's on top of the world. She gives me faith that I can end up like her one day (with my writing).

Q; Also, who are your favorite bands beside Jonas Brothers? -Ashley

A; Mmm.. I'm not sure. I'm not really into bands other than Jonas. Paramore is pretty cool.. Boys Like Girls.. I mean, I only like a few songs from each band so I guess that's not really considered "favorite". I'm more into the solo artists like Demi Lovato, etc. BUT! However. I am now officially in love with Coldplay! Their songs are UHMAZIN.

Q; What's the first and last thing you think about each morning and night? - Chesneyh

A; Each day I think of something differently. But most of the time, each morning I first think about the day ahead... how my day is going to be... what's going to happen.. and at night, I think about everything I did that day. But other than those.. the first and last thing I think about in the morning+night.. is God. :)

Q; Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like you don't belong and you're not wanted, and you just wanna run away? - Richelle

A; Yes. Yes. YES. These days have come and they have gone and they come again and then they go and so on. It happens to everyone. I feel all alone, even though I know I'm not. I look up at the sky, watch the sun.. watch the moon.. look at the stars and then I know for sure that I am not alone.. somewhere... somewhere in the world, somebody is looking at the same sun, moon and stars that I am looking at.. and thinking the same thing I am thinking. Life will always have it's rough times. Sometimes, believe it or not, I've thought that I don't belong in my family. Like everybody hates me. I'm the odd one out. Like I'm not loved.. Like I was born into a family I don't belong in. It hurts because sometimes I don't like to be proven wrong. Like in Black Keys.. Nick says/writes "she hates the sun cause it proves she's not alone and the world doesn't revolve around her soul". That line means a lot to me. Sometimes I like to think something and even though I know I'm NOT alone - but I feel like I am - I don't WANT to believe it.

Q; Why does Nick Jonas inspire you? How does he inspire you? - Frequently Asked.

A; When I tell people that hate the boys that Nick Jonas inspires me.. you know what they say? "You only love him cause you think he's hot!!". Not true. At all. I'm not going to say I don't think he's good looking or attractive.. but that's not the reason why I love him. There are fans that think like that.. but I am not one of them. I love Nick Jonas because he inspires me with my writing - and writing is the most important part of my life. It's a really big part of my life and it means a lot to me. Nick Jonas writes his own songs. Mostly about things anybody can relate to. Not always about girls or relationships or broken hearts. About life.. The good and the bad.. And that's what I love about him. He inspires me to write about my life. And that has helped me a lot because writing something down is letting something out.. and that changes a lot in my life. When I listen to the song he has written.. like Black Keys.. A Little Bit Longer.. etc, I smile. I smile at the words. I smile at his voice. They're both perfect for me. Then I instantly feel the urge to get up and start writing a song.. and the song ends up being my new favorite song that I have written. It means a lot to me.

Q; How passionate are you about writing? - Unknown.

A; Very passionate. I'm also passionate about music. Writing and music mix together.. they link together. I love to write because I love music. When I had a writers block a few weeks back.. I was going crazy. I couldn't think of ANYTHING to write and it killed me because I wasn't used to it. I really do love writing - it's become a big part of my life.

Q; Do you like the Beatles? -Sara

Yes! I LOVE JOHN LENNON - I must say. He was and still is an amazing human being. "Imagine" will forever be my favorite songs of history. He really is... he's just incredible. My dad was a big fan back in the days. John Lennon - you're awesome and forever will be. The Beatles are awesome, too. :)

That's all the questions I have time for now! I must go to bed. It's almost 12AM.. and I have school. Argh. I hope you guys enjoyed reading more about me! Thank you so much for your comments. They mean the WORLD to me - you have noo idea. So THANK YOU.

Here are a few video links.. that changed my life. Doves Campaign for Real Beauty:

Real Beauty or Fake?

Amy... is beautiful. And so are you.

I love the "Amy" one. And yes.. I did send it to you guys because I think each and every one of you are beautiful. (Watch the ad and you'll understand what I'm on about).

Honestly. You girls/guys are amazing. You're beautiful. You're perfect in every little way.

Talk soon.. xox -Hibz

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

it takes courage..

on this blog, i am not going to use capital letter where needed. because that is not what this blog focuses on. not using the right punctuation doesn't make this blog perfect.. and that is what this blog is about. i hope when you read this, you feel at least a little better. motivated. and then you will know that you are never alone...

so tell me... you. you right there. you the one that's reading my words. the one that's reading my story...the person who is as beautiful as a perfect rainbow...how was your day? did it suck? did you wanna run away? did you feel like nobody cared?

or maybe you felt happy... maybe you didn't feel sad. maybe today was a good day for you.

or maybe you're stuck in between...you had a good day...to begin with...then something happened and your good day become bad...

how ever your day was...how ever the sun shone..how ever the rain came falling down..or however the wind blew against your face...you came home...and you started to read this blog.

maybe cause you felt low and you needed some cheering up..maybe because you wanted to prove to yourself that you're not alone..maybe i inspired you..or maybe you just felt bad because i had asked you to read.. (thank you so much)

you...right there...staring back at your screen, reading along the words that i have written...did you know that you're beautiful in every possible way? did you know that you're an amazing person? did you know that god knows that?

i bet you didn't..which is why i started this blog site..because i have read some blogs by others, like christa black, who just let everything out..they were sharing their story..and i related. that proves that sharing your own personal story can make others know that they're never alone...because they relate.

did you know that it takes courage to get up every morning when you feel.. yuck? not appreciated? you do this for your lord. you do this for yourself. or you just don't wanna be late to school..but either way..it takes courage.

to go outside when you don't feel beautiful..to go to school when you don't feel beautiful..to tell yourself you're beautiful when you don't feel it..

let me tell you something..you're strong..you're a strong person. you can handle a lot of things..you are the one that has the power to brighten up your own day..

nobody else. you.

god is with you all the time..he's watching you from up above..he's hoping that you will keep holding on..and when you do, you feel blessed. you feel as if god has blessed you because you just made it through a tough day..

and that's what makes you a beautiful person..you.

you make yourself beautiful..you make yourself feel beautiful..nobody else. when somebody compliments you..you choose to take it as a blessing..you feel better when someone compliments you because you take that compliment in..

and you believe..

don't ever doubt anything in your life, sweeties...because doubting just stops the train of life you're on..it makes things harder..it makes it harder for you to believe in yourself..

don't ever let that happen..just know that i am thinking of you..just know that god is with you all the time...you are never alone.

i love you so much..you're all amazing and perfect..

-hibz

p.s this blog was inspired by christa black. this whole blog website was, too..but this blog was more inspired by her..she told me i was beautiful..she told me i was perfect..and i'm passing the love on. because i love you that much. xo

Sunday, September 6, 2009

i believe

Believing is one of the greatest gifts somebody can have.

Sometimes, it comes naturally.

But other times, it takes something to make you believe a certain thing.

I respect everybody and their beliefs. No matter what you believe, I respect you. But I believe in certain things, and because this is my blog, I will tell you guys.

Of course, I believe in God. Heaven. Hell. Judgment day. I know there is a God, I know there is a Heaven. When you feel like something or somebody is watching you... it's something you should cherish. Most of the time, it's not a human being watching you.

It's God.

I was fasting one day at school, while all my other friends weren't. I would watch them eating and be like "mmm... food". It crossed my mind that I should break my fast... but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I kept hearing a voice inside my head saying, "no, don't do it. You're strong. Stay strong and you'll be even more stronger."

I didn't break my fast. I kept on holding on. So when I went to break my fast when I actually could (sunset).. I felt much for accomplished.

I believe that God was there. Sending his angels to tell me that I shouldn't let anybody force me into breaking my fast before it was time.

When I talk about God and Heaven etc. to people... I smile. I smile because I believe. I believe because I... believe. I smile because believing is something you should smile about.

There was also a time where I down. Low. I couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't do anything. I had school. Didn't wanna be late... but I couldn't seem to pick myself up. I wasn't sick or anything.. I was just... I don't know.

That was when it was like God had reached down, and picked me up himself. Told me that I was strong enough to get up.

And believe it or not.. After I had gotten up and sat on the edge of my bed... The sun suddenly appeared out of nowhere. You know how sometimes the sunshine shines at a particular spot? Sometimes the reason being the curtain? That happened. The sunshine was right ON me.

Honestly.

I'm not lying or anything. I wouldn't lie about this kinda stuff.

All these signs... They make my belief stronger. And it means the world to me that I have a chance to believe in something that changes my life..

No matter what you believe in, you're beautiful.

You still believe in something. Everything you believe makes you a more beautiful person each day you continue to believe.

I swear I love ya'll. -Hiba

Saturday, September 5, 2009

rejection

Don't ever let the fear of rejection keep you from loving. And I'm proud of YOU for not letting that happen... but something... something different happened. Something you didn't expect.

He rejected you.

I can tell you that I know exactly how you feel. It's happened to me before. And I can also tell you that it's not the best feeling in the world.

You feel useless....worthless...like you don't matter...like you're not loved...like nobody likes you.

Then questions haunt you like, "why didn't he like me? I'm ugly, aren't I? I'm not beautiful. I'm not pretty." You wonder why he doesn't like you. "Did somebody tell him something about me? I can't believe the cutest guy just rejected me."

It's hard to cope with.

Hannah, you are beautiful. Honestly, you are. I am proud of you for not backing away and telling this boy your true feelings. You were rejected out of one boys life.... but you'll never be rejected out of mine. And a lot of other people.

One day, you're going to meet the boy of your dreams that loves you for you. That will love you back. Trust me, you will.

That's the reason why God created everything two. Two ears. Two hands. Two eyes. Then, he created only one heart for each person. Because there's another heart out there just for you.

I love you. :)

-Hiba

Friday, September 4, 2009

the black keys

I am in love with a song called Black Keys. It means a lot to me, more than anybody would ever know. It's not about boys. It's not about girls. It's not even about a relationship. It's giving a meaning of life. I'm not going to tell you who sings it/wrote it because that's not what matters. (I bet you already know, though).

"She hates the sun, cause it proves she's not alone and the world doesn't revolve around her soul:" This line was confusing at first. All it took was for me to read in between the lines for the understanding of it. There's always going to be a part in your life where you feel like you're everything. Where you are alone. Where you think of something and you don't want to be proven wrong. I think this line symbolizes that part of life.

"The walls are closing in. Don't let them get inside of your head:" I am sure that you have experienced this before. When you just wanna run away and ignore everything they say. When you feel like a tiny person sometimes. Like nobody cares. Like the walls of your bedroom are closing in.

"The Black Keys never looked so beautiful. And a perfect rainbow never seemed so dull. And the lights out never had this brighter glow and the Black Keys were showing me a world I never knew:" There's going to be times where things you thought were dull and gray and boring before.. will become your everything. While this happens, the things that are beautiful like rainbows and sunshine will appear to be dull and boring. Sometimes.. you've gotta take chances. Because sometimes, those chances will show you a whole different world.

When I first heard this song, I thought Black Keys was like... car keys or something (he says something about driving in a car). That made sense. Car keys are boring. Don't mean that much. He's telling us that they had never looked so beautiful while a rainbow didn't. But then I found out that Black Keys were actually the keys that are black (duh) on a piano. I found out that when he said when he first wrote this song, he only used the black keys on his piano.

This boy keeps getting amazing.

"Sometimes a fight is better black and white:" True. Sometimes color isn't everything. In fact, I love taking black and white photographs of pretty much anything.. Because when you look at the picture, you don't look at the color of the person's eyes....or the color of the clothes their wearing....or the color of their hair. You just look at this picture. And that's the beauty of life.

This song has inspired me. Ever since I first heard it... it touched my heart. This boy proves to me that writing doesn't only express love and broken hearts (c'mon, you gotta admit... most songs out there are about that sorta stuff). It can express anything. I love a song even more when I understand the meaning of the words.

That's why when I write songs.... I don't always write about boys. Love. Broken hearts. I write about... life. I write about things that I go through, and most of the things I do go through isn't always boys boys boys.

This person inspires me so much. I never thought I could be this inspired. (Because of him, you got this blog and most blogs on here. Because of him, I write songs that have meanings.) I've always wondered and dreamed of writing a song with this boy. Okay, okay... I'll admit. Every other girl has dreamed that too.

But... not every other girl is passionate about writing like I am. Some are just like me. So they know how I'm feeling. This boy writes words that have the ability to touch my heart....inspire me.

If we ever do write a song together... I'll be sure not to write about being broken hearted. About love between two people attracted to each other. I just.... I want to write a song about life. Something that every other person will eventually relate to. Something that will touch every person like this song has touched me.

Who knows, maybe we'll write a song called White Keys. ;)

So, that's all for today. Remember that you are beautiful. You define the word beautiful. Words can't and will never bring you down because I know that you're strong. Take chances because sometimes they help you turn into the right direction.

You can't win until you try.
You can't touch the sky until you fly.
You can't finish until you start.
You can't love until you have a heart.

I came up with that a few months back. It means... taking a chance. Of course, you'll take chances that you shouldn't have taken. But taking them has taught you a whole new thing. Something new. Don't let the fear of that keep you from taking the chances.

I love you.

-Hiba xoxo

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

he's looking down

God. He's looking down. At all of us. He is the only one who can feel how you feel when you're having a tough time. He is the only one who can see your true colors, even if you don't show them. God is looking down at you. He's looking down and thinking, "wow this person is strong." He is proud. He created a person who can handle a lot of things. Tears, cuts, bruises, fights.. He does not want to see you sad. Ever.

He created you to go after what you want. He wants you to be happy.

However, he also created people who took the wrong path. Walked down the road of life and instead of turning a certain way, with the rest of us, turned the other way. This person made the wrong choice of making the right choice.

This person's action has put them into a bad position. Abusing because they don't like the fact that they've ruined their only chance at life. Yelling because they don't like who they've become. Yelling words at other people they want to yell at themselves.

Don't ever blame yourself or God for any bad moments in your life. Don't blame anyone. Just keep your head up, fight it through. So when that time comes where you're smiling, joyfully... You'll be able to smile even more because you fought through a time all by yourself. And that's what makes us all strong people every day.

Appreciating every moment of your life is what makes you a happy person in the end. Sit on your bed, in the sunlight and think. Don't let anybody bother you. Block out the screaming and yelling, if there's any in your house amongst your brothers/sisters/parents etc. If somebody is yelling at you, just say "Okay", no matter how much you're dying to comment back.

That way you won't be too upset at the end. When you smile, you'll smile for a reason.

And guess what? I will smile along with you. And so will the world.

Trust me on this. Trust yourself. Trust GOD. And nobody else should be able to ruin your day. If they do, you'll have at least SOMEBODY to turn to.

I love you.

-Hiba

Monday, August 31, 2009

my apologies!

My internet download thing went away, cause my bro downloaded a lot of things and then my net started having problems that had nothing to do with the download. Stupid idot internet. I can't live without it. (But I did). Hahaha. Sooo.. My dad took it to this man and it stayed for like, 3 days and it still wasn't working. That's a lot of days that I've missed at Twittering, Blogging, Youtubing, Facebooking, and whatever else there is on the internet which I'm missed.

I'm so sorry guys!! Hahaha. I've been dying without it though. LOL. Meanwhile, I have written another song! It's called "Sympathy". Tell me what you think?

Everybody needs love to live.
Like everybody needs a heart beat.
We all need love to function properly.
Like we all need blood in our bodies.

Sometimes you look back and you think.
How love it truly is so amazing.

[CHORUS]
Cause when you're having a bad day
And everything goes wrong.
When you're told your loved too late.
And you still feel so alone.
You have to look inside your heart.
And then you will clearly see.
That behind that frown of yours.
You know there is sympathy.
When you scream into your pillow
Knowing you can't take it anymore.
All you gotta do is look at me.
And inside your heart, there'll be sympathy.

We all need a smile on our face.
When we all want that piece of chocolate cake.
All the mistakes that you have made.
Move on, and learn from them.
Cause they can not be erased.
If they hurt you bad, why do them again?

Sometimes you look back and you think.
How you can be so amazing.

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Everybody needs a little love
Everybody wants a warm hug.
Someone to be there with life is tough.
Someone who listens when you've had enough.
That person to smile when you smile.
And to bring you up when you're down.
Sometimes you will get what you want.
It may take a while just to see.
That sometimes what you don't want.
Is what you need..

Sometimes you look back and you think.
How you and love, together, are amazing..

Like it? I'd love to hear what you thought of it!! :)

Oh and remember my Dolly feature? A few days back, at school, I was bombarded with questions. I then felt like pulling out my hair. Then, this girl that I really dislike and she disliked me back.. tells me, "hey Hiba, I got your mag straight after school yesterday". And I'm like, "oh cool, thanks." And then she's like, "and I stuck your picture on my wall". Uhhh.. Mean girl say WHAT? Of course I didn't say that. "Oh, Oh! Pleassssse tell me you put my picture next to Nick's? Pleeease!!" - I didn't say that either. I just.. laughed. Yeah, I laughed. It's pretty weird. But I am sooo not going to just "be friends" with this chick now. In fact, nothing's going to change.

Haha and this guy in our classes that I know is soo hilarious. Everytime I walk past he's like, "omg is that Hiba!!" and "Hayyy superstar!" LMAO. And he just mucks around and goes, "can I pull out a piece of your hair and put it in a jar?" Hahahaha! He's soo stupid and funny at the same time.

Okay, moving on.. (I'm not going to let any of this attention ruin my personal blog or change my life. Of course, there was a moment where my head grew quite a bit. But then it shrunk back down to normal size. Ha) :)

When somebody insults something about you - it can be the smallest thing, like your nose or your TOE... You're going to feel insecure about that part especially. I know it happened to me.

Nobody is really happy with what they have. If you have big boobs, you want small ones and if you have small ones, you want big ones. I've been told that I have "big ones". What do you want me to do? Simply call God and return them? I didn't ask for them, so why are you talking to me like I did? Sometimes it's those people making you insecure.

Sure, you should appreciate that fact. Like the fact that women are undertaking plastic surgery just to have big boobs, but you were just born with them. But how am I supposed to appreciate it when people don't let me forget about them? When they make me feel insecure about them? Sometimes it's a joke - for a laugh. People tell you things for a "joke".

What's a joke, anyway? Insulting somebody then saying "I'm just joking!"? after seeing their reaction? Bitch about someone and say "I'm only joking!! Chill!!"? There's no such thing as saying something bad or offensive about a person then calling it a joke.

What you say about a person, it will mark on them. Probably for life.

Have you ever had a best-friend or a close friend who you love but says things about your body that you "pretend" to take as a joke, but actually take seriously? "Hey big bum!!" "ANY LOUDER?!?!". It's... I don't know. I guess I can't explain it sometimes. I love my close friends but sometimes they're the ones making me insecure about parts of my body.

I guess that's how life works.

The close people in your life will joke around with you. But that all depends on YOU and what YOU think joking really is.

Anyway, that was a pretty personal blog!! Oh wait, there's a lot of personal blogs on here. Ha. I just... I don't have the guts to tell anybody this face-to-face. So I write it here. It's much easier. So thank you for reading about what I have to say. It means the world to me; you have noo idea.

If you wanna talk, I'm always here (unless my internet is being stupid..) But other than that, you know I'm thinking of you. You're all amazing. I've been having a tough time lately and to be able to come on here, blog about it, and see other girls relate is... an amazing feeling.

Love you beautiful girls!! *kisses and hugs* -Hiba (P.S I will reply to your comments ASAP. Need to go to sleep now. Goodnight lovelies).

-Hiba

Friday, August 28, 2009

i love me cause you do

Life goes past so fast; but so many things can happen. Change. It's incredible. We're almost at the end of 2009. I'm almost at the start of 10th grade (time to start taking things seriously!). Things are going past like a blur, but things are changing clearly. It's pretty weird. Of course, you look back and you go, "wow. It was like, yesterday that we were celebrating the start of 09!" But then you think about everything's that happened and you go, "but so many things have changed/happened."

Anyway, I'm gonna move on before I make the same points in different sentences. Hahaha.

My title pretty much explains my blog. When people started seeing me in Dolly Magazine; they told me I was pretty. They told me I was beautiful. They told me that that is a gorgeous picture. Of course, I cherished that moment. And I realized something, too.

I'm starting to love me because you do. You love me. You give me support and amazing love; you say that you love me and you say that I inspire you. I believe in me because you believe in me. That's how I feel right now. Of course, there will be days when I feel down and insecure. But then again, all it takes is for somebody to compliment me. Anything. Even my nose or my hair. Still, I'd feel a little better. That's how powerful words are. I never knew how words can hit or heal you so much. But now I know.

That's why I'm bracing myself for more rough days to come.

Nobody at school knows or knew that I had bad days. They didn't even think I would. That proves how amazing it is how much a smile can hide. It can hide everything. Bruises, cuts, marks and scars. Tears, hurt, and even lies. I'm sure there has been a day where you felt so miserable. But nobody really suspected. And I'm just gonna guess why..

Because you smiled. You laughed. You made yourself look like you're the happiest person on this earth. But when you get home, your smile fades. You get back to reality, sort of. Some of you describe your home as a place where you can run away. Others describe their home as World War III. Fighting and arguing with your parents is a very common thing in teenagers. Your parents won't always agree to what you have to say. Saying, "we're in the 21st century now!!" won't change a lot of things, trust me. I've tried.

But after all the fights and arguments and yelling, you've gotta know that deep inside, it's all love. You're growing up. Your parents are only used to that little kid they raised up. They don't want to see you grow up, so they go against things you wanna do. Like go out with your friends, or your boyfriend, or whatever. I know some parents that don't allow their kids to do normal socializing because they don't want them to grow.

In you and your friends eyes, you're a teenager. But in your parents eyes, you're still their little girl. Yes, it can be annoying most times. But sometimes, you've gotta cherish that moment because one day, they won't be here anymore. You'll have to handle this world by yourself. You won't be able to look back and say everything you wished to say.

So say everything now.

Believe it or not, I still kiss my daddy goodnight. Yeah, I'm 14 and I might even be embarrassed to be seen with my parents sometimes. But then I just cut out of it. I hug my parents when I'm walking through the shops. I kiss them good morning and good night. I tell them I love them before I go to school every morning.

Some people are closer with their mother. But not me. I'm more closer to my dad. I always joke around with him and act like a little kid when I'm around him. But I'm not ashamed. My parents raised me up to be the person that I am today and I'm never going to go against that fact. I'm thankful that God has blessed me with amazing people.

Anyway, I'm off. More tomorrow! Hope you enjoyed today's blog!! I love you all soo much. It means the world to me when you take time you read and comment my blogs. Seriously. It makes me feel special and I hardly ever feel special. So thank you my beautifuls.

You're all amazing. Every single one of you. Each day I smile when I think about you guys. Each day I appreciate to have such amazing friends and supporters to help me deal with a life that you guys might be dealing with too.

So thank you!! Love you all. xox -Hiba

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

yeah baby!

Guess what I'm reading right now? The September issue of DOLLY magazine! Have you got it yet?! I've already taken a picture (click to see bigger version):



Wow. Hahaha. Amazing. I never imagined that I'd get a song-writing contract or be in a magazine. It's almost like a dream coming true. ;)

I promised you guys this blog will be dedicated to you all! And I'm keeping my promise no doubt!

I also promised to post a song I wrote just yesterday. :) It's called "Words Heal Like They Hurt". Let me know what you think? I'd love to hear your opinions!

You said I wasn't beautiful.
You said you didn't love me.
You called me all these nasty words.
I didn't believe in me, suddenly.
I cried and I cried
And I wished at night
That I could run away and die.
But then you came along and you said
That life is hard but there's no need to worry.
Even if that person doesn't say sorry.

[CHORUS]
But words can heal
As much as they can hurt.
They called you ugly.
But we called you beautiful.
Oh, words.. they can heal.
Like they hurt.
Look around, this is real.
It's time that you learned.
That words can hurt.
But words can heal.
If you're smart enough
You'll smile and the world
Will smile along with you..

You said you didn't like me.
And I wondered what type you liked.
Skinny, blonde hair, bikini?
I'm sorry that I'm not what you like.
And they came on along.
And wiped away my tears.
The words that said I'm beautiful.
The words that washed away my fears.

[REPEAT CHORUS]

You called me ugly.
And it cut me like a knife.
You said I wasn't pretty.
No, I wasn't alright.
But they called me amazing.
It healed, it was my cure.
They said I was beautiful.
And wiped away my tears.

So,

[REPEAT CHORUS]

Words can heal..
As much as they can hurt.
If you're afraid this isn't real.
Look around, I'm right here..

Soooo... what do ya'll think?!?! Leave a comment - I'd love to hear what you have to say!

Moving on now. I've said this a lot of times and I'm going to keep saying it. THANK YOU. You, you, you and even YOU. I love you all so much, you don't understand. Thanks for your support and comments, they honestly mean the world to me.

Some of you guys commented on my last blog, so I'll be able to use your name.

Warning: The following girls are so amazing you'll forget to breathe.

Abbey
(thanks for the YOU'RE FREAKING BEAUTIFUL!!!")
Emma
(you're just simply amazing. thanks for my mention in your blog!)
Chesneyh
(i'm sure you make bright purple uniform look amazing!)
Abbey
(you're inspiring for calling my blogs inspiring. thank you!)
Adge
(YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!! you can put a smile on my face any day)
Emily
(i'm honored to have inspired you to blog again!)
Jill
(i love you for loving to read my blogs. ha! thanks so much, seriously!)
Teagan
(i've known for a while; feels like years. thanks you for everything!)
Tash
(thanks so much for your comment. it means the world to me!!)
Stephanie
(you're so incredible! lovin ya!)
Jaimi
(you're always there to support me. thank you so much!)

Of course, I'd like to thank every one of you, but these people commented on my last blog when I mentioned I'd be able to put their names in my blog! Remember, I LOVE YOU ALL!!! You guys are amazing. Inside and out. Without ya'll, I wouldn't even be writing. Honestly. You guys help me as much as you claim I help YOU! Thank you so much!!!

MY FFE GIRLS.
(you girls are amazing!!! love you guys!)
MY TWEETERS.
(tweet tweet all you can, still lovin' ya!)
MY BEST-FRIEND.
(you've been here since the beginning of all the changes. i love you so much)


Tomorrow, look forward to a blog talking more about my past. Once again, thanks so much. I love you all sooooo much; you have nooo idea!! <33>

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

words heal like they hurt

I must say that I'm thankful to be able to share my stories to you guys and have you all relate to them and possibly even help and inspire you... Really, it means so much to me. And I will continue to thank you guys for your incredible support. :)

Before I begin, I'd like to remind you all.. TOMORROW! DOLLY'S SEPTEMBER ISSUE IS IN STORES. GO BUY A COPY!!!! Nooo, not because Robby Pattinson and that Bella chick are on the cover... but because I'M featured IN THE MAG! Ahhh! Buy a copy and you'll know allllllll about my story! :) Pictures and everything! Ahhh! Some of my friends were subscribed to Dolly, which means they get an issue earlier. And they kindly took a picture and showed me and I'm like "ahhhh!". So I CAN'T WAIT until Wednesday, (tomorrow), to get myself a copy.

Are you gonna get a copy?! Find it anywhere. From petrol-station stores to IGA to coles to Big W... :) Let me know what you think of my story once you do get a chance to get yourself a copy and read my article! Yes! :)

Okay, moving on now.. I must say that yesterday has been a great day for me. I'm not gonna like, jinx anything or anyone, so *knocks on the wood*... but I was actually happy. I felt good and proud and sort of special because I was fasting (it's the holy month of Ramadan) and school was good, and fun. & then I got home and found out about my feature in the September DOLLY. I live for these days, man. Honestly. I know that there's a lot of days where you just can't take it anymore.

You scream in your pillow. You cry like no tomorrow. (I think I feel a new song coming..) You blame yourself for the things life has thrown at you. (OMG, I think I'm actually inspired enough to write a song!!) You feel like you're alone in this huge world. You feel like nobody's listening. (Okay that's it, tomorrow's blog you're gonna see a new song no doubt!). You just don't feel like living and dealing with the things you don't want to deal with.

But then comes the days where you just seem to forget about that all and just... have fun. Smile. Those days you should cherish. Because they're going to over and you'll have to be faced with the same old bad times. But then the good days come again. And it just keeps coming back and forth.

Which brings me back to insecurity, somehow. You're not used to having a day that makes you happy. You don't know how to think or what to do. You look at yourself in the mirror and the only thing that has changed is the smile on your face.

But that should be enough.

Smile and the world, even me, will smile along with you.

Keep smiling and soon you'll take control over your life.

Sometimes when you're brought down, somebody complimenting you on... anything basically, is powerful enough to make you feel at least a bit better. Which reminds me of a time a while back.

I met this guy once. He was cute... really cute, actually. I was just standing there and thinking and then he interrupts my thoughts and says this exact line, "I don't mean to like, harass you or anything but you've got really good looking lips." Not kidding! Now, that time I was feeling really insecure about my looks so I didn't even look him in the eye before that.

But honestly, he complimented my LIPS. I immediately felt... important. Special. I was with another girl. She didn't get complimented. I did. It was like he knew I felt bad about myself.

I felt more secure about my looks after he compliments my LIPS.

That proves how much words can heal as much as they can hurt.

I kindly looked at him and smiled, "thaaaaaanks.." Ha.

All it takes is for somebody to call me beautiful and I'd be fine for most of the day. That's all. Beautiful. I wanted to be called beautiful because I didn't believe I WAS beautiful. I wanted somebody to yell at me. Yell at me for not believing. Say something like,

"Chin up man! Stop sooking!! You're freaking beautiful, don't you know that!!"

I would feel better if anybody told me that. Honestly, I would.

Anyway, that's it for today. I have loved sharing my past with you guys. And present. AND FUTURE *wink wink song-writing contract wink wink*. ;)

You guys are amazing. Your comments keep me writing. Honestly, they help me TOO. They show me that I'm not writing just to help myself and let things out... I'm writing to also help YOU guys.

I love you all. YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL! And I love you from the bottom of my heart until the very top. (Nick Jonas goes somewhere in between there). Ha, don't ya feel special now? *wink wink*.

I can't stop winking. It reminds me of when I wink at my 2 year old nephew who has gorgeouuuuus Nick J curls. He tries winking back at me and ends up flinching! Cuuuuute! Lovin' him. Lovin' God. Lovin' YOU!

:) Kisses and Hugs. <3 -Hiba