Wednesday, June 30, 2010

a good heart

you are... amazing. beautiful, and the only thing that's going to make you even more beautiful, is if you be-you..tiful. be yourself. don't be afraid to take chances, risks and make mistakes because that's going to make you who you are, and therefore you will find somebody who will love you for you. you'll know what truly makes you happy, you'll know how to spend the rest of your life. don't waste your time, because believe it or not, time is short. life is not certain. congratulations, you've survived through yesterday. but nobody said you'd survive through today, or if you'd see tomorrow. if that doesn't make you realize that time is short, then what does?

only you can define your happiness. hearts break, people change, promises are broken, life gets rough, yeah... but life goes on. you can't really do anything but at least try and forget about it, because it's the past. and nobody can change what has already happened. you don't get a second chance, life's not a xBox game you can simply restart, you've only got one chance at life.. so make it worth it, because before you know it, it may be over sooner than you think.

it's reality. face it. i'm not going to sit here and tell you wrong from right, or not to make mistakes, i'm going to be honest with you.. because i care. only you can make the choices in your life. only you can decide who to trust or not. it's normal to make mistakes, and those mistakes, take them as an awareness. learn from them. because all these risks and chances you take, all these mistakes.. they make you who you are today.

just be careful. because you may know what day it is, you may know who you love and who you dislike, you may know what the time is.. but something you don't know is, When is your time?

choose and make your choices wisely.

use your brain, what's it for? use it wisely. don't waste your time caring about something that doesn't really matter in the end. be kind to people. treat people the way you'd like to be treated. give to the poor, to the less fortunate. appreciate every breath you take because every second, a breath is shortened. a heart stops beating. a person stops living.

that person can be you sooner than you'd think.

we know that.

what we don't know is... when?

now? tomorrow? next month? in a year? before you have children?

so many questions are asked, but not many are answered. not many can be answered.

appreciate because your only one chance at life can be taken away so easily..

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

commitment

in the past month, my life has dropped into the darkness area that i never wanted to go back to. i've changed. everybody always tells me that because i'm still so young, i should go out and have fun and not worry about much, because i'm only a teenager. but what if i live my youth mucking around and making inconsiderate decisions and mistakes, and my time is short? what if my life ends when it's too late to start taking things seriously?

ive made a commitment to myself. i plan to improve next term in school, get more organized, and focus a lot more in classes and with homework. im not blaming anybody else but myself, because it is my fault. so i stepped up and make a wise decision - to delete the social networking website that i was literally on 24 hours a day - facebook. so, i deleted it.

thats the first step to improving. now that i don't have much to do on the internet, i won't be on as much as i used to be on, when i had a reason to be on it.

which means, focusing more on my education rather than what's happening on facebook, and who commented on my pictures, or statuses or who wrote on my wall.

im sure missing it, though, but we're gonna have to miss a lot of things in life that we can not have.

this goal i've set is very serious, me, my parents and my school homegroup teacher will be having another interview about 2 weeks into the next term, to see how i'm doing, and if im improving. i will work so very hard to make sure the interview will be full of good news.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

internet death

yes, yes, i know that i havent been on for so so so long. my apologies. a lot has happened, actually, a lot of unexpected things that have finally proved to me that life does not always go my way. which is a bummer i guess.

i have to learn how to juggle. i have no more facebook now because my grades have dropped, and i believe that facebook is a big distraction. i feel so overwhelmed now because if i don't improve, im stopping myself and my family from going overseas at the end of the year, because i have to improve in order to go, otherwise i'd fail. and next year, i'm in year 11. a senior. big step.

ive been praying that i do improve. i just don't know what happened last semester. it's like ive changed but i never realized until someone told me. i feel so lost all of the time, like im desperete to find out my future, to know what im going to end up doing, marrying.. where i end up in the end. i just want to know. i need a sign, a message from God. i need somebody to tell me it's going to be alright in the end.

for every bit of moment in my life, i have a song to go along with it. this time, it was "the voice within" by christina aguilera.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eeaC8Iy_Nf0

Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly

When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems No one ever wants or bothers to explain Of the heartache life can bring and what it means

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl, don't hide You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day

Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Yeah...
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know

You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you

When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within

Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

the line out of this song that stands out the most for me, is probably "No one ever wants or bothers to explain Of the heartache life can bring and what it means" so true. i mean, i guess theres nobody really to blame, because everybody has their own stories, their own struggles. im just using this as something thats taught me something. when i have a daughter of my own, i'll be sure to be there for her, to warn her that life might get rough at times, i'll be sure to comfort her, not make things worse, because i know how that feels and i dont want anybody feeling the way ive felt for the past 2 years.

if you're struggling through a time in your life right now.. just remember that im here. remember that theres always somebody who has got it worse than you've got it. no matter how hard that may seem to believe, it's true.

just be grateful that...

that you're alive.

if that's not something to smile about, then what is?

appreciate that you've got a bed to sleep in, food to keep your stomach full, water to drink, and a roof over your head. clothes to wear. a COMPUTER to read blogs from.

there's one more thing you should remember...

life doesn't get easier.

you just get stronger.