Sunday, October 18, 2009

nobody's life is perfect

when things go wrong for me.. i always end up compare my life to those who are way more fortunate than i am (famous people)... and i have no idea why. i know that it's not gonna make me feel better, but i just always happen to do that. and what happens? "argh, i bet demi lovato's life is never like this". it just.. happens. i compare my life with another person's life who i know isn't as bad as mine. or happen to "think" it.

i have no idea where this blog is even leading you to but ima just keep going.

even though i ALWAYS do it, it annoys me when we compare bad times to another celebrities life and say "i bet this this that never went through this!". i know that it annoys them too.

because.. well, you see the person that the media has a spotlight on. you don't see the person who she/he really is.

and assuming that their life is "faaaaaaaaaaantastic" just because they're famous and everybody knows their name, they don't have bad days, is pointless.

because it definitely doesn't make you feel any better, and it doesn't make anybody else feel better, either.

i'm being a total hypocrite saying this right now, but i guess while i'm writing this blog.. i'm writing it for me. i just want a person to tell me this.. to tell me to knock out of it.. to tell me that blaming bad days on other people is ridiculous.

and yes i'm crazy enough to even attempt to tell myself.

but i'm also telling you. because even though it's hard to believe, i know that at least ONE person out there goes through what I go through.

and i want to be able to help me. and you.

it's been way too long that i haven't blogged, si?

forgive me on that. every time i attempt to write a blog... i fail.

but i'm only fourteen, almost fifteen. i've still got a whole life ahead of me.

a whole lot of stories to tell.

secrets to keep.

promises to make.

love to give.

and i hope.. that when i'm 20.. i'd still have this blog.

and that YOU still KNOW about this blog.

stay with me, folks...... by the time i'm 20, let's hope you don't even have to search for me because my blog would already be bookmarked on your computer! :P

love you so much. honestlyyy. i love you with everything in me. nothing can explain what i FEEL when you guys compliment me. when you tell me that I, a smalltown teenage girl, inspire YOU.

and a lot has happened over the past week.. that i can't seem to forget.. words do hurt. i know i've been telling you forever now, but it is true. and everybody needs remindings of the truth. because words do hurt.

but words do heal.

love you. xox -hibz

Sunday, October 11, 2009

when you hurt online

It took me this long to realize how much damage being online can cause. And I'm not only talking about the obvious reasons like stalking and chatting to strangers. I'm talking about the arguments happening, people getting hurt because somebody comments their Facebook picture in a negative way.

I was reading Miley's blog last night. She made me open my eyes.

The internet has a lot of amazing things. It allows you to chat with your friends without having a phone or being face-to-face with them. It allows you to find out the latest gossip about your favorite celebrities. It allows you to speak to the world behind just a screen. But.. It also allows you to talk about somebody negatively, anonymously. With no consequences at all. All that will happen is the bully will feel good about themselves and you will feel worse.

And nobody can really help you. You're on your own. And it hurts. Oh boy, does it hurt. Not only the fact that you're being bitched about. But by somebody who you might or might not even know. Somebody who might go to your school. Somebody who might be your friend. A stranger that doesn't even know you. You don't know anything at all because this person was too afraid of letting you know who they are but not afraid of saying something bad about you.

Sure, we all have opinions. But bullying is never just an opinion. It's way more than that. Because ya'll just take it way too far.

I'm not going to lie and say I have never talked about somebody in my life before. Because I know I have. And I am sure YOU have too. Because none of us are perfect.

But.. It's our imperfections that make us who we are today. We make a mistake. We see the result it causes. We learn from that mistake and try to never repeat it again. That's how I learned.

Some people.. Decide to learn the hard way. Make a mistake. See the result it causes. Ignore the result and keep making that mistake without actually realizing it's a mistake.

There are different types of people in the world. Sensitive.. Shy.. Outgoing.. Crazy.. But the hard part is that you have to think of what you're going to post online because everybody might take it in a different way.

I might get offended about something you said but another person may not. It's just what makes us different people. We have different minds and thoughts.

But that's why you should think about what you're going to post online. For everybody to see. Because "everybody" aren't always who you think they are and therefore, not everything revolves around you and what YOU think.

I think that we all need breaks from the online-world every once in a while. Not only because you have to socialize with people face-to-face and not just behind a computer screen.. But because of everything you are getting caught up with through the internet.

All the gossip sites, the youtube channels, the social-networking sites.. They're addictive. You WANT to and you feel the NEED to get on everyday to check new stuff out. Who has left comments on your pictures? Who commented on your Youtube videos? Did Fred post a new vid?! OMGG MILEY DID WHAT!!!? Tweet Tweet Tweet!

We're all getting caught up in the w0rld that we're staring at from behind a computer screen. A world that we can never really enter.. Just stare at. Get sucked in slowly..

I just want you to you my sweetness.. That there's more to life than Facebook and Twitter and even OceanUP. There's a whole world out there and it's calling your name. If you ever get tired of those selfish people online.. Don't be afraid to simply shut down your computer.

Sit outside in the sunshine, perhaps. I did, yesterday. For hours. I had my earphones in and I replayed "Black Keys" over and over again. It felt good. It felt like everything was blocked out. No computer. No Twittering. Nothing. Just a way of spending time with myself and trying to figure out who I am.

You should try it, my loves. It really is amazing to just let go of that computer-mouse, take your eyes off the computer-screen and just speak to the world without typing.

And who knows? Maybe you'll find out something new without having to Google it. ;) I love you!!

P.S This blog was written for EVERYBODY out there. Because right now you are on the internet. How did you get to this page? It all travels around. And in some sort of way.. It was also written for ME. Because.. I need reminders, myself. I'm not perfect.

xoxo -Hibz

Saturday, October 10, 2009

you are beautiful.

There's day in my life where I have a reason to be sad. But then again, there's sometimes days when I am sad and feeling depressed.. I realize it's for no reason that I know of. After I give myself a reality check, I expect myself to feel happier.. but that never just "changes".

I don't know why.

Some of you know what kind of person I am. Some of you don't. And some of you take advantage of it (you know who I'm talking about). I have.. modes, I guess you can call it. Life modes. I'm sensitive and I'm fragile. I take things seriously. My heart gets broken very easily. It's annoying sometimes. I'm also.. two different people, I guess you can call it. One time I'll be very quite and kind of to myself a bit. But the next, I'll be out there being all crazy and that. I'm sure that a lot of people in the world are like me.

But sometimes I just can't bring myself to believe in that. I feel alone.

Sometimes.. I just want somebody to be there to understand everything I'm saying, even if I'm mumbling words. You guys are always there. But it's kind of hard to explain things online.

I can't always be with my best-friend and I'm not close with my mum.

So I kind of have to deal with things myself. Which is so, so hard for me because I have a lot of things on my plate right now from school to family to general girl problems.

I guess the only thing I can turn to sometimes is my laptop or my diary. To write. When I write, I don't write staring into the future. I just write because I want to let things out, not because I want to remember this day forever.

Writing something down is exactly like letting it all out for me. Writing helps me and that's why I love it.

Some of you may be having tough times in your life right now. If it's losing a close friend/family member.. Losing something or someone you can not replace. Dealing with friendship or relationship problems.

I just want you to know something.

There's always going to be somebody you can turn to. Or something.

If it's God, your mum, your friends, your computer, your diary.. After letting it all out, you'll feel better.

Just remember that I'M there, too. That I'm sitting here.. Just thinking of you all. Because I love you that much..

So next time you feel down and upset.. I want you to keep reminding yourself that you're beautiful. Inside, outside and all other sides.

And if you can't remind yourself, let ME remind YOU.

Because you really are beautiful. <3


Tuesday, October 6, 2009

you're amazing. yes, you.

When someone compliments you, don't you feel good?

When someone compliments you about a talent, you feel even better.

You guys are amazing. Incredibly amazing. I can't thank you enough but I am going to try to. So here I go..

Wow. Nothing can explain the feeling that I get when people tell me good things about the thing I love doing most: Writing. I love to write. It's a passion. It grew on me as I grew older and it is still growing on me. I'm learning new things each day and it's amazing to be able to tell you guys by writing a song. Your words mean a lot to me, honestly.

YOU'RE the reason why I am still writing today. Why I have kept my faith. You guys have helped me much more than you know. The comments you leave, leave butterflies in my stomach because I am so excited to show you more and show the rest of the world when it's time.

When you tell me that I'VE inspired YOU, that inspires ME. You have no idea. It's just amazing to have been blessed with a talent that helps me with life. When I have a tough day, I write and from my writing, comes songs. It helps me get everything all out.

I'm not going to deny that I have a talent. The point of having a talent is believing and realizing that you DO have a talent. The talent grows stronger by the day. And when people remind me that I have a talent, I don't tell them "Noo, I don't.." and blush. I don't say "I know!!!" either. I thank them.

I also thank God. For blessing me with something that I love so much and that you guys support me with. Without your love and support, I wouldn't believe in myself as much as I do today.

So THANK YOU. I love you with all of my heart. <3