There's day in my life where I have a reason to be sad. But then again, there's sometimes days when I am sad and feeling depressed.. I realize it's for no reason that I know of. After I give myself a reality check, I expect myself to feel happier.. but that never just "changes".
I don't know why.
Some of you know what kind of person I am. Some of you don't. And some of you take advantage of it (you know who I'm talking about). I have.. modes, I guess you can call it. Life modes. I'm sensitive and I'm fragile. I take things seriously. My heart gets broken very easily. It's annoying sometimes. I'm also.. two different people, I guess you can call it. One time I'll be very quite and kind of to myself a bit. But the next, I'll be out there being all crazy and that. I'm sure that a lot of people in the world are like me.
But sometimes I just can't bring myself to believe in that. I feel alone.
Sometimes.. I just want somebody to be there to understand everything I'm saying, even if I'm mumbling words. You guys are always there. But it's kind of hard to explain things online.
I can't always be with my best-friend and I'm not close with my mum.
So I kind of have to deal with things myself. Which is so, so hard for me because I have a lot of things on my plate right now from school to family to general girl problems.
I guess the only thing I can turn to sometimes is my laptop or my diary. To write. When I write, I don't write staring into the future. I just write because I want to let things out, not because I want to remember this day forever.
Writing something down is exactly like letting it all out for me. Writing helps me and that's why I love it.
Some of you may be having tough times in your life right now. If it's losing a close friend/family member.. Losing something or someone you can not replace. Dealing with friendship or relationship problems.
I just want you to know something.
There's always going to be somebody you can turn to. Or something.
If it's God, your mum, your friends, your computer, your diary.. After letting it all out, you'll feel better.
Just remember that I'M there, too. That I'm sitting here.. Just thinking of you all. Because I love you that much..
So next time you feel down and upset.. I want you to keep reminding yourself that you're beautiful. Inside, outside and all other sides.
And if you can't remind yourself, let ME remind YOU.
Because you really are beautiful. <3