I must say that I'm thankful to be able to share my stories to you guys and have you all relate to them and possibly even help and inspire you... Really, it means so much to me. And I will continue to thank you guys for your incredible support. :)
Before I begin, I'd like to remind you all.. TOMORROW! DOLLY'S SEPTEMBER ISSUE IS IN STORES. GO BUY A COPY!!!! Nooo, not because Robby Pattinson and that Bella chick are on the cover... but because I'M featured IN THE MAG! Ahhh! Buy a copy and you'll know allllllll about my story! :) Pictures and everything! Ahhh! Some of my friends were subscribed to Dolly, which means they get an issue earlier. And they kindly took a picture and showed me and I'm like "ahhhh!". So I CAN'T WAIT until Wednesday, (tomorrow), to get myself a copy.
Are you gonna get a copy?! Find it anywhere. From petrol-station stores to IGA to coles to Big W... :) Let me know what you think of my story once you do get a chance to get yourself a copy and read my article! Yes! :)
Okay, moving on now.. I must say that yesterday has been a great day for me. I'm not gonna like, jinx anything or anyone, so *knocks on the wood*... but I was actually happy. I felt good and proud and sort of special because I was fasting (it's the holy month of Ramadan) and school was good, and fun. & then I got home and found out about my feature in the September DOLLY. I live for these days, man. Honestly. I know that there's a lot of days where you just can't take it anymore.
You scream in your pillow. You cry like no tomorrow. (I think I feel a new song coming..) You blame yourself for the things life has thrown at you. (OMG, I think I'm actually inspired enough to write a song!!) You feel like you're alone in this huge world. You feel like nobody's listening. (Okay that's it, tomorrow's blog you're gonna see a new song no doubt!). You just don't feel like living and dealing with the things you don't want to deal with.
But then comes the days where you just seem to forget about that all and just... have fun. Smile. Those days you should cherish. Because they're going to over and you'll have to be faced with the same old bad times. But then the good days come again. And it just keeps coming back and forth.
Which brings me back to insecurity, somehow. You're not used to having a day that makes you happy. You don't know how to think or what to do. You look at yourself in the mirror and the only thing that has changed is the smile on your face.
But that should be enough.
Smile and the world, even me, will smile along with you.
Keep smiling and soon you'll take control over your life.
Sometimes when you're brought down, somebody complimenting you on... anything basically, is powerful enough to make you feel at least a bit better. Which reminds me of a time a while back.
I met this guy once. He was cute... really cute, actually. I was just standing there and thinking and then he interrupts my thoughts and says this exact line, "I don't mean to like, harass you or anything but you've got really good looking lips." Not kidding! Now, that time I was feeling really insecure about my looks so I didn't even look him in the eye before that.
But honestly, he complimented my LIPS. I immediately felt... important. Special. I was with another girl. She didn't get complimented. I did. It was like he knew I felt bad about myself.
I felt more secure about my looks after he compliments my LIPS.
That proves how much words can heal as much as they can hurt.
I kindly looked at him and smiled, "thaaaaaanks.." Ha.
All it takes is for somebody to call me beautiful and I'd be fine for most of the day. That's all. Beautiful. I wanted to be called beautiful because I didn't believe I WAS beautiful. I wanted somebody to yell at me. Yell at me for not believing. Say something like,
"Chin up man! Stop sooking!! You're freaking beautiful, don't you know that!!"
I would feel better if anybody told me that. Honestly, I would.
Anyway, that's it for today. I have loved sharing my past with you guys. And present. AND FUTURE *wink wink song-writing contract wink wink*. ;)
You guys are amazing. Your comments keep me writing. Honestly, they help me TOO. They show me that I'm not writing just to help myself and let things out... I'm writing to also help YOU guys.
I love you all. YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL! And I love you from the bottom of my heart until the very top. (Nick Jonas goes somewhere in between there). Ha, don't ya feel special now? *wink wink*.
I can't stop winking. It reminds me of when I wink at my 2 year old nephew who has gorgeouuuuus Nick J curls. He tries winking back at me and ends up flinching! Cuuuuute! Lovin' him. Lovin' God. Lovin' YOU!
:) Kisses and Hugs. <3 -Hiba