Beastly

Can you believe it? 2011 is almost over. Time is flying by way too fast... This time last year I was in Lebanon. It feels like yesterday. Next year is my last year of High School. And that's where I stop because I have no idea where I'm heading. Not even a little hint. I'm still lost and confused as I've ever been... But I guess I'm looking forward to 2012.

It's Summer. I'm happy about this. Extremely happy. Besides needing a tan desperately, I just love the feeling of Summer and Summer nights. I love spending full days at the beach and just having a good time, not a worry in the world. I've miss that feeling... so I'm praying that this Summer is a good one.

Anyway, so yesterday I watched Beastly. I must admit, it was better than I had expected. It carries such a powerful message which I'm sure most of you have heard before: Don't judge a book by its cover. A good looking teen who's the popular guy in school and also happens to be the mean bully as well, who believes that "good looking people are better" is turned into a hideous, "ugly", scar-filled teenager instead. The spell that was cast on him was that he was to "be as hideous outside as he was inside" and find someone who loves him for him before the year ended or else he'd stay like that forever. I love the author of this story.

It teaches us that looks aren't as important as the media portrays it to be. Well, it's not. The most beautiful person you've ever seen may be the opposite inside. Good looks don't define people and suddenly make them better than everyone else. In fact, personally I think that if I knew how selfish or cruel a really really good looking person was, I'd find them not as attractive anymore, because I know that they're not as nice as they look.

Good looks will fade eventually. Everyone gets wrinkles and blah blah as they get older, so why love someone based purely on their looks and nothing else? Their looks will change, for whatever reason. So that's why I say, don't love someone because they're beautiful. Get to know them. Their personality will shine right through their appearance, and you can then decide if they're as pretty inside as they are outside.

time runs out

You know when you're sitting an exam, and you have a set time to complete it? Or you know when you're sitting outside during school time during lunch, and that bell rings? Or the last period of the school day and that last bell finally rings? When you have an assignment due in soon, with no possible extensions to be given out?

That is life. Life is precious. Time is precious. Time is what all of us need.

Whether it's to say goodbye, to finish off homework, to spend with someone special or to finish an exam -- time is what we need. Time is valuable. Yes, we all have time, and we all know that one day, our time will run out. But the thing that's so overwhelming? We don't know when the time will run out. When you're finishing off an assignment because you have no more time to hand it in or when you're sitting in class, waiting for the bell to ring... That time is almost guaranteed.

You know when the exam time will end. You know when lunchtime ends. You know when school ends, when your laptop battery ends, when your time to hand in your assignment ends. But you don't know when life ends.

When time, time ends.

Every day, as humans, we face fears. The number one fear... is time. Loss of time. Shortened time. Time that's not enough. As humans, all we want is time. Time to reach our dreams, time to figure out who we are, time to stay young, to embrace our happiness. We just want time.

But we must face our fears as well as reality. In reality, nobody really knows exactly when their time will end. We don't know when our chance at life will end, and why, even. Nobody knows, in fact. That's what's so frightening. Especially as a young person who doesn't know who they are, or what to do when they're older.

I'm left with feeling afraid. I'm left with the 'what if's' and the 'when's'. What if I don't get to be who I want to be, what if I die early, what if something terrible happens that stops me from something. When will this happen, when will that happen, will this and that happen?

I am just a 16 year old girl. A 16 year old girl who is confused, and almost lost in the middle of this world that I feel so bad for. A million what if questions sprawl across my mind every single day.

I know it's no good to think like this. I know I shouldn't be so negative.

But I can't help it. I can't help but feel this way.

No matter where you are in the world... how old you are... how young you are... how healthy or weak you are... Time runs out.

Use time wisely. It's like an hourglass. Sort of. Well, it's like an hourglass stuck to a table, where you can't turn it over--meaning you can't rewind time. But then again... An hourglass shows you how long you have left until the time does run out.

Unfortunately, that's not realistic. I guess because I've been told for so many years to forget about my fantasies -- some people used to get angry with me because I was so caught up in this fantasy world, where I was actually happy -- and I guess that's the reason why I'm so negative today. Reality isn't all rainbows and sunshine. I've learned that. I'm no longer as naive as I used to be. I no longer see the innocence in the world that I used to see. I'm no longer caught up in a dream. I don't get at least the slightest bit of happiness from dreams anymore.

I'm not caught up anymore.

Are you happy now?

AMAZING NEWS!!!!

Remember my song-writing contract that I received from America? Yes, it's been 2 years, but.... well a few days ago, I received my DEMO'S! One of them was the personal God one called "Will This All Be Over Soon"; I posted the lyrics to that one here 2 years ago. Wow. Thanks so much for your support.

If you would like to listen to the demo, click here. :) YAY!

the beauty of the moon

We're all lost people... if you think about it. We're all lost souls, living today in fear of the mystery of tomorrow. We all have our own stories, our own secrets, our own insecurities and problems and troubles.

True, right? I don't know why I decided to write that but right now I'm just writing whatever comes to my mind. We're already past half way through the year... Can you believe it? I've been through so much throughout the years... it's so incredible how fast time is going. I almost want it to slow down....

I find myself whenever I look at the moon, it just inspires me. It's hard to believe how far away it is... and even after knowing that, it still inspires me. It kind of makes me feel closer to everybody else out there in the world. No matter where you are... where you go... whether it's China or Canada or Australia or even Antarctica... when you look up at the sky, you'll see the same moon you see when you were somewhere else. It makes me feel... I don't know... small.

When I look at the moon, I feel as if I'm not alone. Like it's always there for me, no matter where I go. That's a bit cheesy.... but hey right now I feel like writing about the moon. In fact, I'm sitting next to my older sister who's asking me what I'm writing to which I replied: "I'm writing about the moon". And she laughed.

Haha. I'm inspired right now, I guess and right now I feel like writing about the moon. And if you feel alone.... I think you should look up at the moon and smile, for the moon will smile back.

HAHA THAT IS TOO CHEESY. But you know what... it's true. The moon won't smile back itself, but millions of others in the world are most likely looking at the moon, too. Doesn't that make you feel... not alone?

Okay, okay I'll shut up. I guess I'm just trying to distract myself from my homework so here I am, talking about the moon.

OH There's a Bruno Mars song "Talking To The Moon", listen to it. It's great.

nobody understands

You don't understand that the only reason I don't want to go anywhere might be because I'm insecure. Maybe it's because I feel fat, I feel ugly, and don't want to be seen in public. You never understand that nor do you want to understand it. I wish you could be someone who sits there and talks to me about my insecurities... So I can just cry on your shoulder and you can tell me everything will be okay.

I guess that's too much to ask for, right? I'm a teenage girl. I get insecure. I get stressed. I'm confused. I'm lost. I don't know where to go. I get lazy. I want to change my looks so I can be happy with myself.

I wish you could understand that.

Here's a song that perfectly describes me so I don't have to sit here rambling on like I usually do.

~~~~~~

Look at me, you may think you see
Who I really am but you'll never know me.
Every day it's as if I play a part
Now I see if I wear a mask
I can fool the world but I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

I am now in a world where I
Have to hide my heart and what I believe in
But somehow I will show the world
What's inside my heart and be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see staring straight back at me?
Why is my reflection someone I don't know?

Must I pretend that I'm someone else for all time?
When will my reflection show who I am inside?
There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know the reason why

Why must we all conceal what we think and how we feel?
Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide?
I won't pretend that I'm someone else for all time
When will my reflection show who I am inside?

~~~~~~

Goodnight beautiful people.

you'll be okay

Things get tough... not everything will go your way. That's reality. Yeah, sometimes it's good to fantasize about what you wish you had. For instance, dreaming. It makes you happy, doesn't it? That's what matters. But then you have to come back to reality and realize that this is what you're stuck with and therefore meaning you have to either work your way around it or cry about it.

Either way, this is reality.

Things don't always go your way and sometimes you'll get hurt. Your heart will break, your insecurity will kick in, your self-esteem isn't so high, your confidence is low. Sometimes it seems like so many things are going wrong.

But... well life goes on. Whether you're happy or sad, time doesn't stop. The clock keeps ticking and time keeps passing. It's now your choice whether to choose to push past the agony or cry about something you can no longer change.

I guess I'm ranting a lot because I don't know where I'm going with this particular post but it's pretty late and I'm tired but this is the hour where I think about a lot of things. My point is, you'll be okay. Hold on.

everybody is broken

I was walking home today and for some reason, I became very open-minded as I looked at people in general walking home or picking up their kids etc. I realized that everybody we see, every individual has their own stories, experiences, fears and scars. We're all broken. Or we've all been broken. It's something interesting because it shows that nobody is perfect, no matter how old they are or what they've been through, popular or not, model or regular girl - nobody is perfect and we all have our own problems. We're all fragile humans trying to find happiness - well most of us are. That's a fact.

That's why I plaster a smile on my face before going somewhere, like school or to some family party. I do it for the people around me. I don't do it just to avoid the "what's wrong"'s, I do it so I don't affect those around me.

I'm not perfect meaning sometimes, yes, I get upset and it's hard to hide. And that usually leads to problems with my friends, and they all start to wonder why I've been acting distant or sort of like a bitch. Nobody really knows why, except for me. And that proves to me that by showing your true emotions when you're hurt or upset, you don't only affect yourself... you affect those around you.

In life you've gotta try to act as selfless as you can, and no, not everything will go your way and sometimes you'll be very upset... sometimes it will be too hard to fake a smile so you just want to be alone. That's okay, too. A simple "I want to be alone" should do the explaining and anybody who is considerate will understand that you want to be alone. I've learned a lot and as I grow older, I'm still learning. As are you.

I may say things without intention or I may get upset or over dramatic sometimes over little things... but don't judge me. Don't get mad at me for making some mistakes when you don't even see yourself making the same ones. I can be a hypocrite... but so can you. We all are. I say things at the end of the day, not only for others but also for me. I give advice, I tell people to be happy, and all the while I'm also talking to myself - if that makes sense.

But you know what I mean.

So, I understand that you may not like me sometimes, that's good, because I sometimes feel the same way about you. But I also respect that you have your problems and I have mine. You have your insecurities, scars, bruises, problems, family issues... But remember, that I also have mine.

You're not alone and that's exactly why you shouldn't get so upset at others for just say, ignoring you or not "being themselves" - because then again, you're judging them from what you see. You don't know anything. What if this person got abused? What if this person cuts themselves? What if they go through more than you'll ever know? That's exactly the reason why it is not okay to judge. I understand that it's annoying when people suddenly "change" or "ignore" you. But then again, you don't know what's making them act this way, therefore giving you no right to judge.

The moral of this blog post? Be considerate. When you walk past someone, don't put them down. Don't make fun of their messy bed hair. Don't laugh at their clothes. Don't make fun of them because the truth is, you have no idea what this person has to go through every day or has been through. You laugh because she's fat, while she's starving herself to lose weight. You laugh at the amount of make-up she has on, while she cries because without it she doesn't feel beautiful.

Be considerate. At the end of the day, we all have our insecurities and experiences. Including you, and me, and that's exactly the reason why it is not okay to judge.

why?

Why is there always somebody who is displeased? Why must there always be a hater? Why does it seem like we care about celebrities more than cancer patients? Why is there always somebody to ruin your day? Somebody to ruin your self-concept, your self-esteem, your confidence. You walk out thinking "Wow I'm confident today" only to have it ruined by somebody. Why? Why are you against bullying but find it okay to hate on a celebrity? Why do you think it's okay to say mean things about someone you don't know, but when someone you don't know says something about you, you're mad? Why? Why is it that you can't accept difference? Why can't you learn the definition of peace and live it? Why can't you respect others?

Are you immature? Are you too young? Are you hurt, are you broken, are you scarred. WHY? Why do you hate? Why must you focus on what you despise rather than what you don't? Why must you stereotype? Why do you feel the need to make someone feel bad about themselves? Does it entertain you? Hating isn't being "real" - it's being ignorant and ignorance is not an opinion. You hate something? Great. But hating something doesn't mean talking non-stop about it. Hating something doesn't mean even taking any time off to make hate groups, hate pages, hate accounts. Hating something does not mean thinking of a rumor to start.

Hating something means you're not interested in anything this "thing" does or says. Therefore, by making hate groups, by watching their videos, by commenting, by talking about it -- it only makes us believe that you actually do care enough to even waste your time doing anything that involves this thing that you "hate".

Why do you have to be so selfish? Cruel? Mean? If you hate somebody, an artist, a musician, an actor, actress... You have to realize that these people have fans, whether you like it or not and by opening your big mouth, you'll offend people. Do you really want that?

How about you stick to loving what you do love rather than loving what you hate.

all i want to do is write

Why? Because when I write, I'm able to express my imagination. I'm able to be someone that I wish I could be - someone better, prettier, luckier. My life isn't the best and I know I'm selfish because compared to the less-fortunate, my life is amazing. But really, it's not. I'm selfish... but aren't we all? I look at luckier people and I compare myself to them. I think to myself why they have the better life while I'm stuck here trying to lose weight just so I can be happy with myself. Some people have their whole life planned for them already, from young ages, they've had their dreams since they were 5 and since then they've had lots of support and people who help them out.

Me? When I was 5 I was playing with my barbie dolls, taking all the innocence I had for granted, oblivious to the fact that it will be gone so soon and I'd want it all back. I know we all say we shouldn't put ourselves down but lately that's been almost my only choice. If I believe in myself, not much is likely to happen except that I'll be even more shattered. I need support. I don't need to believe in myself; I need others to believe in me. So what happens when the most important people in my life don't?

I'm just sick of seeing people get what I've always wanted. And I won't deny that I'm jealous and selfish and just imperfect... because I know that I am.

All I want to do is write because I wish for a better life and by writing, I can almost experience it. It's the closest way I can experience what I want to experience.

Because even though I'm stuck in the middle of these four walls, by writing I can take myself out of this position for a while. Just for a while, even if it's just imagination, a dream, a wish, a hope. When I'm writing, I'm happy, because I get to be somebody else, somebody I want to be.

I can make the character up myself, how I want her to look like and what I want her to say. So it's almost like the characters in my stories are second me's.

Because right now, I'm not happy with myself and who I am. I know being negative is wrong but right now that is what I'm feeling and there is not a person in the world who can change that at this moment. I have to put up with it. How do I put up with my insecurities and my wishful-thinking?

I write.

gullible

I realized that there are way too many people out there who tend to believe anything and everything they hear. Or they tend to judge somebody or a situation just by looking at a picture or a few. It's pretty pathetic, however I admit that I have done it before and sometimes, I still do. I get that first impression. Just say somebody is tagged in some slutty picture and the girls are wearing play-boy costumes. You automatically think "whores"... but with me, I don't usually judge that quick. Therefore, I think of the possibilities like "What if it was a costume party" or a Halloween party or whatever. I have no right to judge.

For instance, take a look at this photo:

What do you think? Just by looking at this photo, there's no doubt the first thoughts that cross your mind is "They're making out", right? Right. That's what I thought too. And because this girl, Selena Gomez, has a boyfriend -- people looked at this photo and assumed she was cheating and made a big deal out of it and started drama because of it.

Now I will prove, easily, to all of you how gullible we can all be. You saw that picture, right? Well this is what really happened:

See? There is always another side to a story, to a picture, to a text message, to a tweet, to a Facebook status. There's another side to a story of everything.

At the end of the day, what you choose to believe is really up to you... But please, make sense out of the things you are believing. Think about all the possibilities and the possible various sides of a story before you judge a situation and the people involved. I can assure you that no matter how long you look at a photo or no matter how long you spend analyzing every move someone makes - you do not know the full story, so therefore you can not judge.

Don't be so gullible. Don't be an easy persuading target otherwise you'll start to judge things from the moment you see them -- which is never good. That is why I'm nice to people. Well, the ones that are nice to me anyway. Because I don't know how many scars they have, I don't know their secrets and their fears and their history. For all I know, a beautiful girl with brown eyes who smiles all day at school could be crying herself to sleep at night. She could be cutting herself and all the while I'm getting fooled by her smiles.

That is why I don't judge. I'm not perfect so sometimes I do, however I don't stick to that judgment. Most of the time, I don't. If I dislike something or somebody, I don't make a big deal out of it. If I dislike something, I have no interest in it and having no interest in something doesn't mean going on and on about why you have no interest in it. It means finding something else that interests you and makes you happy.

I'm getting off track. Bye :) I'm turning back the anonymous option in the comment bar for a while. I'd like to see your comments :)

Beauty... overrated?

The popular, short but powerful question: Do you believe you're beautiful?

It depends what beautiful means to you. Would I like to wake up feeling beautiful? Of course. But my insecurities won't let me think great of myself. If somebody calls me beautiful, I smile, but I soon forget about it because it's my opinion about myself that matters... Right? Because I'm the one that has to see me when I look in the mirror.

Yes, I have flaws. Some aren't always visible and I make sure they're not. When I feel upset, I usually point out every one of my flaws just to punish myself.

Society pressures us to look beautiful, otherwise we're not loved. And do you want to know the sad part? Society defines beautiful for us. Skinny, tall, flat-stomach, attractive legs, beautiful hair, breasts, nose, even teeth.

I understand and I believe that beauty comes from your heart, not your appearance. But, just look around. Society doesn't care about that anymore. They just want a good looking woman to satisfy their vision. They want tall, skinny models to make their dresses look sexy. They want flawless looking woman, with big breasts and long, sexy legs to satisfy the man's needs. They don't want regular woman, the women who aren't afraid to eat cookies, the women who have extra fat on their bodies, the women who are natural because they don't want to do plastic surgery.

They don't care about us, the girls who sit in their rooms, crying while looking at beautiful girls in magazines. They don't care about us, the girls who struggle every day to lose weight or to feel beautiful. They just don't care about us.

And in all seriousness? No, I don't believe I'm beautiful.

life must go on

Haters come and haters go. You get rid of one hater, there will always be another one just waiting to tear you down. That is what's too difficult to accept in our society... Reality. Because I've realized that reality is full of hate, full of ignorance, full of selfishness, discrimination and racism. You shouldn't let other people's insecurities and ignorance affect you. Be who you are... Don't change just to satisfy someones needs. I find that if you do that, they're happy, right? But you're not. Ignorance is something some have more than others and it is so difficult to ignore that ignorance... However it is possible. Take this advice: If you ignore it, it will escape your mind soon and it won't bother you anymore. Whereas, if you retaliate - it will offend you because they will reply back. So it's really up to you whether you let other peoples ignorance get in your way.

If people say mean things about you... If they label you... Those words do not define who you are. They are defining themselves. As long as YOU know the truth then their opinions do not matter at all.

A lot has happened lately... I'm going through a tough stage: wondering where I'll end up, wondering where my life is going, stressing over exams. I cry almost every night because I'm confused and... jealous.

I'm jealous of the people getting what I want. I don't want to be "perfect" because that's impossible... I just want a better life. And yes, that's selfish because I do have a better life when you compare me to African children. However, that is one of my flaws: I'm selfish. I know that I am, I won't deny it. Because either way it still doesn't stop me from wishing for something more.

I wish I still had that innocence... That innocence where I didn't think about what life would be like when I'm older. That time I took things for granted, totally unaware that they would be gone in a few years.

Now I'm just sitting in my room every night, shedding tears, wondering where I will end up in my life and if I will end up happy. If I will die happy. Or when I will die. I've been so insecure lately... about everything. About my weight, about my height, about my body, about my face, my hair, my legs. Sometimes I just stare at myself in the mirror and point out my flaws, just to punish myself. Punish myself for being so imperfect. For feeling so imperfect.

I have new smiles to wear everyday. Smiles to cover up my insecurities and my doubts and my fears. But it's sad that "I'm fine" has turned into just another way of saying "I cry myself to sleep". It's sad that I feel like I need to hide who I am in fear of not being accepted.

One thing I understand though: Life goes on. Whether you're happy or sad or depressed or lonely... Life must go on. You can not pause time and you can not stop it. Things must go on, the clock will continue to tick and you will face whatever the mystery of tomorrow brings.

lonely

i feel so alone. according to most people, i'm supposed to feel empathy for you. ironically, i don't feel the least bit of that... all you do is make me want to hate you. despite who you are, you've given me a chance at life, you've raised me up, but this no longer is something i can put up with. all you do is make me want to hate you. you're the one that's supposed to be there for me when life gets hard.... not the one that makes life hard for me. now i'm sitting here crying because you've made me so much overwhelmed than i was before. you don't know what's going on in my life. and you don't even care. you just make me mad and blame me for everything.

i just wish i had a good relationship with you, like the other people have with their family. that's why i feel so alone.

be-u-tiful

you do something bad, people criticize you. you do something good, people still criticize you. nobody is ever happy with anything. its true. even if you do something great, people will always find something to hate about you. they will point out your flaws, all the time. even if your youtube video is awesome - there will still be those people who will click 'dislike'. wanna know why? because people in general have cold hearts & couldn't care less about the feelings of others or how they can hurt someone with mean words.

i know i'm only 16 but i'm wise enough to realize this... i am not naive anymore although at times i wish i still was. i'm less naive towards the society and generation we live in today. bullying, racism, misjudgments.. it's so sad to know people can be mean. i mean, we can all be mean. unfortunately, we all have the power to bully. but it takes a wise mind to realize it's the wrong thing 2 do. saying mean things to a person, and insulting them, your words will mark, believe me. your words have the power to make a person look down on themselves. to ruin a person's self esteem and confidence.

think of it this way. if someone calls you an ugly dog, an ugly dog is what you'll see in the mirror. that's how much words will affect..

to the bullies out there... those who hate and criticize and judge... give it a break. go out and live a little. smile. be kind; be happy. i understand ya'll have your dislikes, but that gives you no right to become such nasty bullies. disliking something does NOT mean making hate-pages/youtube accounts, spending time arguing with fans, or commenting badly on their youtube videos.

disliking something is having no interest in it. having no interest means not caring. not caring doesn't mean making hate pages? it's the opposite. making a hate page shows you do care enough to let the world know who you hate and why. does it matter? be the good person i know you can be. i don't care if you dislike something, but hate is a strong word towards someone you don't know, correct?

i wish the world was a much better place full of much better people. we could all accept each others differences and respect each other. i guess that's not how it works anymore. racism will always be around & the bullies won't stop, but its up to YOU to let them affect you.

stand up for yourself. you're beautiful and you deserve to smile. Life is not perfect. there will be very tough times but remember that behind every rainy day is a rainbow waiting to brighten up everything. good things happen, remember that. but i can't promise you'll be happy all the time. nobody is. but it's the hard times that make us strong people.

Wherever you go in life, there will be haters who criticize everything you do. Wanna know a secret? they want to see you fall. So... DON'T FALL. Smile right in their faces. show em that even though they're trying to hurt you - no matter if it does or not - smile. show them they're not affecting your life. don't allow them to.

let my compliment affect you in a positive way. be confident, believe, be kind, be beautiful, be yourself, be amazing, be-u-tiful ♥ don't follow the crowd... pave your own path. be yourself. love yourself. stand up for yourself. be strong. xox

birthday girl!!

you're probably thinking wtf, whats this girl doing blogging on her birthday?! well, sorry, not everyone gets to have a big day out of their birthday :( haha. i cant complain though, i had school today but i really, really enjoyed it.. i'm starting to love year 11! :) in music i showed off some of my lyrics and sang them while others played the guitar and piano along with my words.. awesome!! my facebook wall has been FLOODED literally, from all the amazing bday wishes from everyone i love

and tweets as well!!! ahh i love all of my friends i'm so lucky to have such amazing friends and family. i love you guys so much!!

anyway, i dont have much to write. im so thankful that today turned out to be amazing. and you know what? its because of ME. i allowed myself to be happy and let the compliments MAKE ME HAPPY. last night i stared right into my mirror, as creepy as this sounds, but i told myself im BEAUTIFUL. i smiled to MYSELF and saw myself smiling back and you know what i love the most? it wasnt FAKE it was a real smile. these are the moments i should cherish.

Waking up I see that everything is OK
The first time in my life and now it's so great
Slowing down I look around and I am so amazed
I think about the little things that make life great

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

This innocence is brilliant
I hope that it will stay
This moment is perfect
Please don't go away
I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

I found a place so safe, not a single tear
The first time in my life and now it's so clear
Feel calm, I belong, I'm so happy here
It's so strong and now I let myself be sincere

I wouldn't change a thing about it
This is the best feeling

It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
It's a state of bliss, you think you're dreaming
It's the happiness inside that you're feeling
It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry

It's so beautiful it makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliant
Makes you wanna cry
This innocence is brilliance
Please don't go away
Cause I need you now
And I'll hold on to it
Don't you let it pass you by

That is innocence by AVRIL LAVIGNE. This song was repeated time after time last night, considering it described EXACTLY what i felt. it was amazing - i slept with a smile on my face, i felt loved, i felt like i loved myself.. i was...

I was happy.

these moments are the beautiful moments in life. where you don't think of anything else to worry about, where you don't have anything to be upset about... its the innocence. AMAZING..

love you all!! xoxoxox

smile.. god loves you

it's true, God loves you!! so smile, appreciate life and BE HAPPY. don't be mean. don't talk about people. don't judge others. because we both know that none of us like to be called names, like to be talked about and like to be judged. we're all alike. which means none of us like it when that stuff happens. why do it to people if you wouldn't like it happening to you? when people say you've changed, it's true most of the time, but who says change isn't a good thing? growing up means changing. not only the way you look, but the way you look at life and how you deal with things.

pray.

pray, talk to your Lord at night, i promise you he's there to listen to you.. pray for those in need of a prayer. there are so many people in this world right now who would KILL to be you. even if that sounds crazy, because you might feel lonely or leftout - trust me so many others have it much worse than you. if you have a roof over your head, food in your fridge, a bed to sleep in... You're luckier than millions of homeless people who die of starvation everyday.

Appreciate. THANK your lord for allowing you to wake up this morning. it might be your last day, so enjoy today. be nice to people and YOU could brighten up your own day. try your hardest to make the right decisions BUT dont be afraid to make mistakes.

making mistakes while we're young is for the best. because making mistakes means learning, and what we learn determines our future. WHO YOU ARE will be WHAT YOU'VE DONE. the mistakes you've done, the words you said, the boys you kissed, the friends you backstabbed... all of this will make you WHO U ARE in your future.

make mistakes. make as many as you can. and then one day you'll KNOW who you are.

and remember to SMILE because GOD LOVES YOU :)

and i do too oh how ironic!!! -lovelovelove- <3!

life isn't complicated

people are!
i mean think about it, most of the things in life that you are forbidden to do, life hasn't forbid you, people have! i dont even know if im making sense but you know what i mean. lets say you want to go beach. but this beach is an hour away and you cant go by yourself. why? theres many reason. maybe you're not allowed, maybe you don't drive, maybe you dont like getting public transport. maybe you have noone to go with and you dont like going by yourself. if life was complicated, there'd be an ACTUAL reason as to why it's "forbidding" you to go. PEOPLE are what make life complicated. they say and do stuff and with the whole 'parents' thing, "if we say no that means no!" "but why?!" "BECAUSE I SAID SO!!" i mean, it's that easy as a parent. but come on, you cant say no to everything!

do you think neil armstrong would have stepped on the moon if his parents had said no?! do you think will smith would have been one of the best actors in the world if his parents had said he couldn't go and reach for his dream!?

i dont even know where im going with this blog but ill keep going anyway.

don't be afraid to say yes once in a while. do you say no because your afraid? afraid of what? to make mistakes? let me tell you, we're all afraid of making mistakes but.. you have to make as many mistakes as you can because we wouldnt know who we are without taking wrong turns on the road of life, and mucking up. we wouldnt know right from wrong.

HAVE FUN. dont let anybody get in your way.

thats my advice, even though i cant take it, i'll give it because i know its the right thing. ANYWAYYYYYYY, its actually summer here and im on holidays "once again". but its not the best of holidays. i wanna make it the best but... wellllllll people say NO so i have to say NO too. -,-

life isnt complicated, PEOPLE ARE!! >:(

2011, new year, new me

Hi all! Okay, so I totally don't even know if any of you are reading any of my stuff anymore. (Not that I've been writing everyday). But if there's that one amazing person who actually does come on here every once in a while, I'd like to thank you for waiting for me while I tried to figure out who I am. I've got so much to tell you all. It's been months since I've last blogged.

But first thing's first. Happy new year! It's FINALLY 2011. I say 'finally' as if 2010 went by really slow, but trust me it really didn't... Although there were a few weeks that did go by really slow, but now when I look back I know it went by a blur! A lot has changed though and I wish I could tell you all about THAT but... we'll stay off it for a while :)

All I know is that I've become a more mature "butterflied" teenager (who turns 16 in a month). I know I'm still young to know who I am, but honestly, I know what I need to know. I still get confused sometimes, like I don't know who I am or where to turn. But as of now, 2011, I've decided to change things. I want to become a better person. I want to help others, stay aware of everything needed to be aware of. I want to study hard in school this year (Year 11). And most of all, I want to keep this blog updated which I failed to do so before... Haha.

Lets begin........

Last week I came back from my 3 month trip to Lebanon. Wanna know about that? Ok Ok I won't drain your life! The trip was really awesome, that's it all summarized. I caught up with family, I made new friends, I had fun. I'd definitely go back there again because I know as soon as I arrived to Australia - I missed it like hell!

Have I been writing lately? No not really :( I've started a story actually, and it's beginning to get really interesting I must say.. I'll fill you in on that later :)

I wish I could write another 'inspirational touching' type of blog again and trust me, I will! There's many things in my life that's happened that I could turn into one of those.. so don't worry I will. Just not now. Maybe tomorrow, so please check back. That's if your really interested.

I have to go because my brother's bugging me to get on the computer. So bye now! Love you all. xox