Why is there always somebody who is displeased? Why must there always be a hater? Why does it seem like we care about celebrities more than cancer patients? Why is there always somebody to ruin your day? Somebody to ruin your self-concept, your self-esteem, your confidence. You walk out thinking "Wow I'm confident today" only to have it ruined by somebody. Why? Why are you against bullying but find it okay to hate on a celebrity? Why do you think it's okay to say mean things about someone you don't know, but when someone you don't know says something about you, you're mad? Why? Why is it that you can't accept difference? Why can't you learn the definition of peace and live it? Why can't you respect others?
Are you immature? Are you too young? Are you hurt, are you broken, are you scarred. WHY? Why do you hate? Why must you focus on what you despise rather than what you don't? Why must you stereotype? Why do you feel the need to make someone feel bad about themselves? Does it entertain you? Hating isn't being "real" - it's being ignorant and ignorance is not an opinion. You hate something? Great. But hating something doesn't mean talking non-stop about it. Hating something doesn't mean even taking any time off to make hate groups, hate pages, hate accounts. Hating something does not mean thinking of a rumor to start.
Hating something means you're not interested in anything this "thing" does or says. Therefore, by making hate groups, by watching their videos, by commenting, by talking about it -- it only makes us believe that you actually do care enough to even waste your time doing anything that involves this thing that you "hate".
Why do you have to be so selfish? Cruel? Mean? If you hate somebody, an artist, a musician, an actor, actress... You have to realize that these people have fans, whether you like it or not and by opening your big mouth, you'll offend people. Do you really want that?
How about you stick to loving what you do love rather than loving what you hate.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
all i want to do is write
Why? Because when I write, I'm able to express my imagination. I'm able to be someone that I wish I could be - someone better, prettier, luckier. My life isn't the best and I know I'm selfish because compared to the less-fortunate, my life is amazing. But really, it's not. I'm selfish... but aren't we all? I look at luckier people and I compare myself to them. I think to myself why they have the better life while I'm stuck here trying to lose weight just so I can be happy with myself. Some people have their whole life planned for them already, from young ages, they've had their dreams since they were 5 and since then they've had lots of support and people who help them out.
Me? When I was 5 I was playing with my barbie dolls, taking all the innocence I had for granted, oblivious to the fact that it will be gone so soon and I'd want it all back. I know we all say we shouldn't put ourselves down but lately that's been almost my only choice. If I believe in myself, not much is likely to happen except that I'll be even more shattered. I need support. I don't need to believe in myself; I need others to believe in me. So what happens when the most important people in my life don't?
I'm just sick of seeing people get what I've always wanted. And I won't deny that I'm jealous and selfish and just imperfect... because I know that I am.
All I want to do is write because I wish for a better life and by writing, I can almost experience it. It's the closest way I can experience what I want to experience.
Because even though I'm stuck in the middle of these four walls, by writing I can take myself out of this position for a while. Just for a while, even if it's just imagination, a dream, a wish, a hope. When I'm writing, I'm happy, because I get to be somebody else, somebody I want to be.
I can make the character up myself, how I want her to look like and what I want her to say. So it's almost like the characters in my stories are second me's.
Because right now, I'm not happy with myself and who I am. I know being negative is wrong but right now that is what I'm feeling and there is not a person in the world who can change that at this moment. I have to put up with it. How do I put up with my insecurities and my wishful-thinking?
I write.
Me? When I was 5 I was playing with my barbie dolls, taking all the innocence I had for granted, oblivious to the fact that it will be gone so soon and I'd want it all back. I know we all say we shouldn't put ourselves down but lately that's been almost my only choice. If I believe in myself, not much is likely to happen except that I'll be even more shattered. I need support. I don't need to believe in myself; I need others to believe in me. So what happens when the most important people in my life don't?
I'm just sick of seeing people get what I've always wanted. And I won't deny that I'm jealous and selfish and just imperfect... because I know that I am.
All I want to do is write because I wish for a better life and by writing, I can almost experience it. It's the closest way I can experience what I want to experience.
Because even though I'm stuck in the middle of these four walls, by writing I can take myself out of this position for a while. Just for a while, even if it's just imagination, a dream, a wish, a hope. When I'm writing, I'm happy, because I get to be somebody else, somebody I want to be.
I can make the character up myself, how I want her to look like and what I want her to say. So it's almost like the characters in my stories are second me's.
Because right now, I'm not happy with myself and who I am. I know being negative is wrong but right now that is what I'm feeling and there is not a person in the world who can change that at this moment. I have to put up with it. How do I put up with my insecurities and my wishful-thinking?
I write.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
gullible
I realized that there are way too many people out there who tend to believe anything and everything they hear. Or they tend to judge somebody or a situation just by looking at a picture or a few. It's pretty pathetic, however I admit that I have done it before and sometimes, I still do. I get that first impression. Just say somebody is tagged in some slutty picture and the girls are wearing play-boy costumes. You automatically think "whores"... but with me, I don't usually judge that quick. Therefore, I think of the possibilities like "What if it was a costume party" or a Halloween party or whatever. I have no right to judge.
For instance, take a look at this photo:
What do you think? Just by looking at this photo, there's no doubt the first thoughts that cross your mind is "They're making out", right? Right. That's what I thought too. And because this girl, Selena Gomez, has a boyfriend -- people looked at this photo and assumed she was cheating and made a big deal out of it and started drama because of it.
Now I will prove, easily, to all of you how gullible we can all be. You saw that picture, right? Well this is what really happened:
See? There is always another side to a story, to a picture, to a text message, to a tweet, to a Facebook status. There's another side to a story of everything.
At the end of the day, what you choose to believe is really up to you... But please, make sense out of the things you are believing. Think about all the possibilities and the possible various sides of a story before you judge a situation and the people involved. I can assure you that no matter how long you look at a photo or no matter how long you spend analyzing every move someone makes - you do not know the full story, so therefore you can not judge.
Don't be so gullible. Don't be an easy persuading target otherwise you'll start to judge things from the moment you see them -- which is never good. That is why I'm nice to people. Well, the ones that are nice to me anyway. Because I don't know how many scars they have, I don't know their secrets and their fears and their history. For all I know, a beautiful girl with brown eyes who smiles all day at school could be crying herself to sleep at night. She could be cutting herself and all the while I'm getting fooled by her smiles.
That is why I don't judge. I'm not perfect so sometimes I do, however I don't stick to that judgment. Most of the time, I don't. If I dislike something or somebody, I don't make a big deal out of it. If I dislike something, I have no interest in it and having no interest in something doesn't mean going on and on about why you have no interest in it. It means finding something else that interests you and makes you happy.
I'm getting off track. Bye :) I'm turning back the anonymous option in the comment bar for a while. I'd like to see your comments :)
For instance, take a look at this photo:
What do you think? Just by looking at this photo, there's no doubt the first thoughts that cross your mind is "They're making out", right? Right. That's what I thought too. And because this girl, Selena Gomez, has a boyfriend -- people looked at this photo and assumed she was cheating and made a big deal out of it and started drama because of it.
Now I will prove, easily, to all of you how gullible we can all be. You saw that picture, right? Well this is what really happened:
See? There is always another side to a story, to a picture, to a text message, to a tweet, to a Facebook status. There's another side to a story of everything.
At the end of the day, what you choose to believe is really up to you... But please, make sense out of the things you are believing. Think about all the possibilities and the possible various sides of a story before you judge a situation and the people involved. I can assure you that no matter how long you look at a photo or no matter how long you spend analyzing every move someone makes - you do not know the full story, so therefore you can not judge.
Don't be so gullible. Don't be an easy persuading target otherwise you'll start to judge things from the moment you see them -- which is never good. That is why I'm nice to people. Well, the ones that are nice to me anyway. Because I don't know how many scars they have, I don't know their secrets and their fears and their history. For all I know, a beautiful girl with brown eyes who smiles all day at school could be crying herself to sleep at night. She could be cutting herself and all the while I'm getting fooled by her smiles.
That is why I don't judge. I'm not perfect so sometimes I do, however I don't stick to that judgment. Most of the time, I don't. If I dislike something or somebody, I don't make a big deal out of it. If I dislike something, I have no interest in it and having no interest in something doesn't mean going on and on about why you have no interest in it. It means finding something else that interests you and makes you happy.
I'm getting off track. Bye :) I'm turning back the anonymous option in the comment bar for a while. I'd like to see your comments :)
Beauty... overrated?
The popular, short but powerful question: Do you believe you're beautiful?
It depends what beautiful means to you. Would I like to wake up feeling beautiful? Of course. But my insecurities won't let me think great of myself. If somebody calls me beautiful, I smile, but I soon forget about it because it's my opinion about myself that matters... Right? Because I'm the one that has to see me when I look in the mirror.
Yes, I have flaws. Some aren't always visible and I make sure they're not. When I feel upset, I usually point out every one of my flaws just to punish myself.
Society pressures us to look beautiful, otherwise we're not loved. And do you want to know the sad part? Society defines beautiful for us. Skinny, tall, flat-stomach, attractive legs, beautiful hair, breasts, nose, even teeth.
I understand and I believe that beauty comes from your heart, not your appearance. But, just look around. Society doesn't care about that anymore. They just want a good looking woman to satisfy their vision. They want tall, skinny models to make their dresses look sexy. They want flawless looking woman, with big breasts and long, sexy legs to satisfy the man's needs. They don't want regular woman, the women who aren't afraid to eat cookies, the women who have extra fat on their bodies, the women who are natural because they don't want to do plastic surgery.
They don't care about us, the girls who sit in their rooms, crying while looking at beautiful girls in magazines. They don't care about us, the girls who struggle every day to lose weight or to feel beautiful. They just don't care about us.
And in all seriousness? No, I don't believe I'm beautiful.
It depends what beautiful means to you. Would I like to wake up feeling beautiful? Of course. But my insecurities won't let me think great of myself. If somebody calls me beautiful, I smile, but I soon forget about it because it's my opinion about myself that matters... Right? Because I'm the one that has to see me when I look in the mirror.
Yes, I have flaws. Some aren't always visible and I make sure they're not. When I feel upset, I usually point out every one of my flaws just to punish myself.
Society pressures us to look beautiful, otherwise we're not loved. And do you want to know the sad part? Society defines beautiful for us. Skinny, tall, flat-stomach, attractive legs, beautiful hair, breasts, nose, even teeth.
I understand and I believe that beauty comes from your heart, not your appearance. But, just look around. Society doesn't care about that anymore. They just want a good looking woman to satisfy their vision. They want tall, skinny models to make their dresses look sexy. They want flawless looking woman, with big breasts and long, sexy legs to satisfy the man's needs. They don't want regular woman, the women who aren't afraid to eat cookies, the women who have extra fat on their bodies, the women who are natural because they don't want to do plastic surgery.
They don't care about us, the girls who sit in their rooms, crying while looking at beautiful girls in magazines. They don't care about us, the girls who struggle every day to lose weight or to feel beautiful. They just don't care about us.
And in all seriousness? No, I don't believe I'm beautiful.
life must go on
Haters come and haters go. You get rid of one hater, there will always be another one just waiting to tear you down. That is what's too difficult to accept in our society... Reality. Because I've realized that reality is full of hate, full of ignorance, full of selfishness, discrimination and racism. You shouldn't let other people's insecurities and ignorance affect you. Be who you are... Don't change just to satisfy someones needs. I find that if you do that, they're happy, right? But you're not. Ignorance is something some have more than others and it is so difficult to ignore that ignorance... However it is possible. Take this advice: If you ignore it, it will escape your mind soon and it won't bother you anymore. Whereas, if you retaliate - it will offend you because they will reply back. So it's really up to you whether you let other peoples ignorance get in your way.
If people say mean things about you... If they label you... Those words do not define who you are. They are defining themselves. As long as YOU know the truth then their opinions do not matter at all.
A lot has happened lately... I'm going through a tough stage: wondering where I'll end up, wondering where my life is going, stressing over exams. I cry almost every night because I'm confused and... jealous.
I'm jealous of the people getting what I want. I don't want to be "perfect" because that's impossible... I just want a better life. And yes, that's selfish because I do have a better life when you compare me to African children. However, that is one of my flaws: I'm selfish. I know that I am, I won't deny it. Because either way it still doesn't stop me from wishing for something more.
I wish I still had that innocence... That innocence where I didn't think about what life would be like when I'm older. That time I took things for granted, totally unaware that they would be gone in a few years.
Now I'm just sitting in my room every night, shedding tears, wondering where I will end up in my life and if I will end up happy. If I will die happy. Or when I will die. I've been so insecure lately... about everything. About my weight, about my height, about my body, about my face, my hair, my legs. Sometimes I just stare at myself in the mirror and point out my flaws, just to punish myself. Punish myself for being so imperfect. For feeling so imperfect.
I have new smiles to wear everyday. Smiles to cover up my insecurities and my doubts and my fears. But it's sad that "I'm fine" has turned into just another way of saying "I cry myself to sleep". It's sad that I feel like I need to hide who I am in fear of not being accepted.
One thing I understand though: Life goes on. Whether you're happy or sad or depressed or lonely... Life must go on. You can not pause time and you can not stop it. Things must go on, the clock will continue to tick and you will face whatever the mystery of tomorrow brings.
If people say mean things about you... If they label you... Those words do not define who you are. They are defining themselves. As long as YOU know the truth then their opinions do not matter at all.
A lot has happened lately... I'm going through a tough stage: wondering where I'll end up, wondering where my life is going, stressing over exams. I cry almost every night because I'm confused and... jealous.
I'm jealous of the people getting what I want. I don't want to be "perfect" because that's impossible... I just want a better life. And yes, that's selfish because I do have a better life when you compare me to African children. However, that is one of my flaws: I'm selfish. I know that I am, I won't deny it. Because either way it still doesn't stop me from wishing for something more.
I wish I still had that innocence... That innocence where I didn't think about what life would be like when I'm older. That time I took things for granted, totally unaware that they would be gone in a few years.
Now I'm just sitting in my room every night, shedding tears, wondering where I will end up in my life and if I will end up happy. If I will die happy. Or when I will die. I've been so insecure lately... about everything. About my weight, about my height, about my body, about my face, my hair, my legs. Sometimes I just stare at myself in the mirror and point out my flaws, just to punish myself. Punish myself for being so imperfect. For feeling so imperfect.
I have new smiles to wear everyday. Smiles to cover up my insecurities and my doubts and my fears. But it's sad that "I'm fine" has turned into just another way of saying "I cry myself to sleep". It's sad that I feel like I need to hide who I am in fear of not being accepted.
One thing I understand though: Life goes on. Whether you're happy or sad or depressed or lonely... Life must go on. You can not pause time and you can not stop it. Things must go on, the clock will continue to tick and you will face whatever the mystery of tomorrow brings.
Saturday, May 7, 2011
lonely
i feel so alone. according to most people, i'm supposed to feel empathy for you. ironically, i don't feel the least bit of that... all you do is make me want to hate you. despite who you are, you've given me a chance at life, you've raised me up, but this no longer is something i can put up with. all you do is make me want to hate you. you're the one that's supposed to be there for me when life gets hard.... not the one that makes life hard for me. now i'm sitting here crying because you've made me so much overwhelmed than i was before. you don't know what's going on in my life. and you don't even care. you just make me mad and blame me for everything.
i just wish i had a good relationship with you, like the other people have with their family. that's why i feel so alone.
i just wish i had a good relationship with you, like the other people have with their family. that's why i feel so alone.
Friday, April 1, 2011
be-u-tiful
you do something bad, people criticize you. you do something good, people still criticize you. nobody is ever happy with anything. its true. even if you do something great, people will always find something to hate about you. they will point out your flaws, all the time. even if your youtube video is awesome - there will still be those people who will click 'dislike'. wanna know why? because people in general have cold hearts & couldn't care less about the feelings of others or how they can hurt someone with mean words.
i know i'm only 16 but i'm wise enough to realize this... i am not naive anymore although at times i wish i still was. i'm less naive towards the society and generation we live in today. bullying, racism, misjudgments.. it's so sad to know people can be mean. i mean, we can all be mean. unfortunately, we all have the power to bully. but it takes a wise mind to realize it's the wrong thing 2 do. saying mean things to a person, and insulting them, your words will mark, believe me. your words have the power to make a person look down on themselves. to ruin a person's self esteem and confidence.
think of it this way. if someone calls you an ugly dog, an ugly dog is what you'll see in the mirror. that's how much words will affect..
to the bullies out there... those who hate and criticize and judge... give it a break. go out and live a little. smile. be kind; be happy. i understand ya'll have your dislikes, but that gives you no right to become such nasty bullies. disliking something does NOT mean making hate-pages/youtube accounts, spending time arguing with fans, or commenting badly on their youtube videos.
disliking something is having no interest in it. having no interest means not caring. not caring doesn't mean making hate pages? it's the opposite. making a hate page shows you do care enough to let the world know who you hate and why. does it matter? be the good person i know you can be. i don't care if you dislike something, but hate is a strong word towards someone you don't know, correct?
i wish the world was a much better place full of much better people. we could all accept each others differences and respect each other. i guess that's not how it works anymore. racism will always be around & the bullies won't stop, but its up to YOU to let them affect you.
stand up for yourself. you're beautiful and you deserve to smile. Life is not perfect. there will be very tough times but remember that behind every rainy day is a rainbow waiting to brighten up everything. good things happen, remember that. but i can't promise you'll be happy all the time. nobody is. but it's the hard times that make us strong people.
Wherever you go in life, there will be haters who criticize everything you do. Wanna know a secret? they want to see you fall. So... DON'T FALL. Smile right in their faces. show em that even though they're trying to hurt you - no matter if it does or not - smile. show them they're not affecting your life. don't allow them to.
let my compliment affect you in a positive way. be confident, believe, be kind, be beautiful, be yourself, be amazing, be-u-tiful ♥ don't follow the crowd... pave your own path. be yourself. love yourself. stand up for yourself. be strong. xox
i know i'm only 16 but i'm wise enough to realize this... i am not naive anymore although at times i wish i still was. i'm less naive towards the society and generation we live in today. bullying, racism, misjudgments.. it's so sad to know people can be mean. i mean, we can all be mean. unfortunately, we all have the power to bully. but it takes a wise mind to realize it's the wrong thing 2 do. saying mean things to a person, and insulting them, your words will mark, believe me. your words have the power to make a person look down on themselves. to ruin a person's self esteem and confidence.
think of it this way. if someone calls you an ugly dog, an ugly dog is what you'll see in the mirror. that's how much words will affect..
to the bullies out there... those who hate and criticize and judge... give it a break. go out and live a little. smile. be kind; be happy. i understand ya'll have your dislikes, but that gives you no right to become such nasty bullies. disliking something does NOT mean making hate-pages/youtube accounts, spending time arguing with fans, or commenting badly on their youtube videos.
disliking something is having no interest in it. having no interest means not caring. not caring doesn't mean making hate pages? it's the opposite. making a hate page shows you do care enough to let the world know who you hate and why. does it matter? be the good person i know you can be. i don't care if you dislike something, but hate is a strong word towards someone you don't know, correct?
i wish the world was a much better place full of much better people. we could all accept each others differences and respect each other. i guess that's not how it works anymore. racism will always be around & the bullies won't stop, but its up to YOU to let them affect you.
stand up for yourself. you're beautiful and you deserve to smile. Life is not perfect. there will be very tough times but remember that behind every rainy day is a rainbow waiting to brighten up everything. good things happen, remember that. but i can't promise you'll be happy all the time. nobody is. but it's the hard times that make us strong people.
Wherever you go in life, there will be haters who criticize everything you do. Wanna know a secret? they want to see you fall. So... DON'T FALL. Smile right in their faces. show em that even though they're trying to hurt you - no matter if it does or not - smile. show them they're not affecting your life. don't allow them to.
let my compliment affect you in a positive way. be confident, believe, be kind, be beautiful, be yourself, be amazing, be-u-tiful ♥ don't follow the crowd... pave your own path. be yourself. love yourself. stand up for yourself. be strong. xox
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