My internet download thing went away, cause my bro downloaded a lot of things and then my net started having problems that had nothing to do with the download. Stupid idot internet. I can't live without it. (But I did). Hahaha. Sooo.. My dad took it to this man and it stayed for like, 3 days and it still wasn't working. That's a lot of days that I've missed at Twittering, Blogging, Youtubing, Facebooking, and whatever else there is on the internet which I'm missed.
I'm so sorry guys!! Hahaha. I've been dying without it though. LOL. Meanwhile, I have written another song! It's called "Sympathy". Tell me what you think?
Everybody needs love to live.
Like everybody needs a heart beat.
We all need love to function properly.
Like we all need blood in our bodies.
Sometimes you look back and you think.
How love it truly is so amazing.
[CHORUS]
Cause when you're having a bad day
And everything goes wrong.
When you're told your loved too late.
And you still feel so alone.
You have to look inside your heart.
And then you will clearly see.
That behind that frown of yours.
You know there is sympathy.
When you scream into your pillow
Knowing you can't take it anymore.
All you gotta do is look at me.
And inside your heart, there'll be sympathy.
We all need a smile on our face.
When we all want that piece of chocolate cake.
All the mistakes that you have made.
Move on, and learn from them.
Cause they can not be erased.
If they hurt you bad, why do them again?
Sometimes you look back and you think.
How you can be so amazing.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Everybody needs a little love
Everybody wants a warm hug.
Someone to be there with life is tough.
Someone who listens when you've had enough.
That person to smile when you smile.
And to bring you up when you're down.
Sometimes you will get what you want.
It may take a while just to see.
That sometimes what you don't want.
Is what you need..
Sometimes you look back and you think.
How you and love, together, are amazing..
Like it? I'd love to hear what you thought of it!! :)
Oh and remember my Dolly feature? A few days back, at school, I was bombarded with questions. I then felt like pulling out my hair. Then, this girl that I really dislike and she disliked me back.. tells me, "hey Hiba, I got your mag straight after school yesterday". And I'm like, "oh cool, thanks." And then she's like, "and I stuck your picture on my wall". Uhhh.. Mean girl say WHAT? Of course I didn't say that. "Oh, Oh! Pleassssse tell me you put my picture next to Nick's? Pleeease!!" - I didn't say that either. I just.. laughed. Yeah, I laughed. It's pretty weird. But I am sooo not going to just "be friends" with this chick now. In fact, nothing's going to change.
Haha and this guy in our classes that I know is soo hilarious. Everytime I walk past he's like, "omg is that Hiba!!" and "Hayyy superstar!" LMAO. And he just mucks around and goes, "can I pull out a piece of your hair and put it in a jar?" Hahahaha! He's soo stupid and funny at the same time.
Okay, moving on.. (I'm not going to let any of this attention ruin my personal blog or change my life. Of course, there was a moment where my head grew quite a bit. But then it shrunk back down to normal size. Ha) :)
When somebody insults something about you - it can be the smallest thing, like your nose or your TOE... You're going to feel insecure about that part especially. I know it happened to me.
Nobody is really happy with what they have. If you have big boobs, you want small ones and if you have small ones, you want big ones. I've been told that I have "big ones". What do you want me to do? Simply call God and return them? I didn't ask for them, so why are you talking to me like I did? Sometimes it's those people making you insecure.
Sure, you should appreciate that fact. Like the fact that women are undertaking plastic surgery just to have big boobs, but you were just born with them. But how am I supposed to appreciate it when people don't let me forget about them? When they make me feel insecure about them? Sometimes it's a joke - for a laugh. People tell you things for a "joke".
What's a joke, anyway? Insulting somebody then saying "I'm just joking!"? after seeing their reaction? Bitch about someone and say "I'm only joking!! Chill!!"? There's no such thing as saying something bad or offensive about a person then calling it a joke.
What you say about a person, it will mark on them. Probably for life.
Have you ever had a best-friend or a close friend who you love but says things about your body that you "pretend" to take as a joke, but actually take seriously? "Hey big bum!!" "ANY LOUDER?!?!". It's... I don't know. I guess I can't explain it sometimes. I love my close friends but sometimes they're the ones making me insecure about parts of my body.
I guess that's how life works.
The close people in your life will joke around with you. But that all depends on YOU and what YOU think joking really is.
Anyway, that was a pretty personal blog!! Oh wait, there's a lot of personal blogs on here. Ha. I just... I don't have the guts to tell anybody this face-to-face. So I write it here. It's much easier. So thank you for reading about what I have to say. It means the world to me; you have noo idea.
If you wanna talk, I'm always here (unless my internet is being stupid..) But other than that, you know I'm thinking of you. You're all amazing. I've been having a tough time lately and to be able to come on here, blog about it, and see other girls relate is... an amazing feeling.
Love you beautiful girls!! *kisses and hugs* -Hiba (P.S I will reply to your comments ASAP. Need to go to sleep now. Goodnight lovelies).
-Hiba
Monday, August 31, 2009
Friday, August 28, 2009
i love me cause you do
Life goes past so fast; but so many things can happen. Change. It's incredible. We're almost at the end of 2009. I'm almost at the start of 10th grade (time to start taking things seriously!). Things are going past like a blur, but things are changing clearly. It's pretty weird. Of course, you look back and you go, "wow. It was like, yesterday that we were celebrating the start of 09!" But then you think about everything's that happened and you go, "but so many things have changed/happened."
Anyway, I'm gonna move on before I make the same points in different sentences. Hahaha.
My title pretty much explains my blog. When people started seeing me in Dolly Magazine; they told me I was pretty. They told me I was beautiful. They told me that that is a gorgeous picture. Of course, I cherished that moment. And I realized something, too.
I'm starting to love me because you do. You love me. You give me support and amazing love; you say that you love me and you say that I inspire you. I believe in me because you believe in me. That's how I feel right now. Of course, there will be days when I feel down and insecure. But then again, all it takes is for somebody to compliment me. Anything. Even my nose or my hair. Still, I'd feel a little better. That's how powerful words are. I never knew how words can hit or heal you so much. But now I know.
That's why I'm bracing myself for more rough days to come.
Nobody at school knows or knew that I had bad days. They didn't even think I would. That proves how amazing it is how much a smile can hide. It can hide everything. Bruises, cuts, marks and scars. Tears, hurt, and even lies. I'm sure there has been a day where you felt so miserable. But nobody really suspected. And I'm just gonna guess why..
Because you smiled. You laughed. You made yourself look like you're the happiest person on this earth. But when you get home, your smile fades. You get back to reality, sort of. Some of you describe your home as a place where you can run away. Others describe their home as World War III. Fighting and arguing with your parents is a very common thing in teenagers. Your parents won't always agree to what you have to say. Saying, "we're in the 21st century now!!" won't change a lot of things, trust me. I've tried.
But after all the fights and arguments and yelling, you've gotta know that deep inside, it's all love. You're growing up. Your parents are only used to that little kid they raised up. They don't want to see you grow up, so they go against things you wanna do. Like go out with your friends, or your boyfriend, or whatever. I know some parents that don't allow their kids to do normal socializing because they don't want them to grow.
In you and your friends eyes, you're a teenager. But in your parents eyes, you're still their little girl. Yes, it can be annoying most times. But sometimes, you've gotta cherish that moment because one day, they won't be here anymore. You'll have to handle this world by yourself. You won't be able to look back and say everything you wished to say.
So say everything now.
Believe it or not, I still kiss my daddy goodnight. Yeah, I'm 14 and I might even be embarrassed to be seen with my parents sometimes. But then I just cut out of it. I hug my parents when I'm walking through the shops. I kiss them good morning and good night. I tell them I love them before I go to school every morning.
Some people are closer with their mother. But not me. I'm more closer to my dad. I always joke around with him and act like a little kid when I'm around him. But I'm not ashamed. My parents raised me up to be the person that I am today and I'm never going to go against that fact. I'm thankful that God has blessed me with amazing people.
Anyway, I'm off. More tomorrow! Hope you enjoyed today's blog!! I love you all soo much. It means the world to me when you take time you read and comment my blogs. Seriously. It makes me feel special and I hardly ever feel special. So thank you my beautifuls.
You're all amazing. Every single one of you. Each day I smile when I think about you guys. Each day I appreciate to have such amazing friends and supporters to help me deal with a life that you guys might be dealing with too.
So thank you!! Love you all. xox -Hiba
Anyway, I'm gonna move on before I make the same points in different sentences. Hahaha.
My title pretty much explains my blog. When people started seeing me in Dolly Magazine; they told me I was pretty. They told me I was beautiful. They told me that that is a gorgeous picture. Of course, I cherished that moment. And I realized something, too.
I'm starting to love me because you do. You love me. You give me support and amazing love; you say that you love me and you say that I inspire you. I believe in me because you believe in me. That's how I feel right now. Of course, there will be days when I feel down and insecure. But then again, all it takes is for somebody to compliment me. Anything. Even my nose or my hair. Still, I'd feel a little better. That's how powerful words are. I never knew how words can hit or heal you so much. But now I know.
That's why I'm bracing myself for more rough days to come.
Nobody at school knows or knew that I had bad days. They didn't even think I would. That proves how amazing it is how much a smile can hide. It can hide everything. Bruises, cuts, marks and scars. Tears, hurt, and even lies. I'm sure there has been a day where you felt so miserable. But nobody really suspected. And I'm just gonna guess why..
Because you smiled. You laughed. You made yourself look like you're the happiest person on this earth. But when you get home, your smile fades. You get back to reality, sort of. Some of you describe your home as a place where you can run away. Others describe their home as World War III. Fighting and arguing with your parents is a very common thing in teenagers. Your parents won't always agree to what you have to say. Saying, "we're in the 21st century now!!" won't change a lot of things, trust me. I've tried.
But after all the fights and arguments and yelling, you've gotta know that deep inside, it's all love. You're growing up. Your parents are only used to that little kid they raised up. They don't want to see you grow up, so they go against things you wanna do. Like go out with your friends, or your boyfriend, or whatever. I know some parents that don't allow their kids to do normal socializing because they don't want them to grow.
In you and your friends eyes, you're a teenager. But in your parents eyes, you're still their little girl. Yes, it can be annoying most times. But sometimes, you've gotta cherish that moment because one day, they won't be here anymore. You'll have to handle this world by yourself. You won't be able to look back and say everything you wished to say.
So say everything now.
Believe it or not, I still kiss my daddy goodnight. Yeah, I'm 14 and I might even be embarrassed to be seen with my parents sometimes. But then I just cut out of it. I hug my parents when I'm walking through the shops. I kiss them good morning and good night. I tell them I love them before I go to school every morning.
Some people are closer with their mother. But not me. I'm more closer to my dad. I always joke around with him and act like a little kid when I'm around him. But I'm not ashamed. My parents raised me up to be the person that I am today and I'm never going to go against that fact. I'm thankful that God has blessed me with amazing people.
Anyway, I'm off. More tomorrow! Hope you enjoyed today's blog!! I love you all soo much. It means the world to me when you take time you read and comment my blogs. Seriously. It makes me feel special and I hardly ever feel special. So thank you my beautifuls.
You're all amazing. Every single one of you. Each day I smile when I think about you guys. Each day I appreciate to have such amazing friends and supporters to help me deal with a life that you guys might be dealing with too.
So thank you!! Love you all. xox -Hiba
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
yeah baby!
Guess what I'm reading right now? The September issue of DOLLY magazine! Have you got it yet?! I've already taken a picture (click to see bigger version):
Wow. Hahaha. Amazing. I never imagined that I'd get a song-writing contract or be in a magazine. It's almost like a dream coming true. ;)
I promised you guys this blog will be dedicated to you all! And I'm keeping my promise no doubt!
I also promised to post a song I wrote just yesterday. :) It's called "Words Heal Like They Hurt". Let me know what you think? I'd love to hear your opinions!
Soooo... what do ya'll think?!?! Leave a comment - I'd love to hear what you have to say!
Moving on now. I've said this a lot of times and I'm going to keep saying it. THANK YOU. You, you, you and even YOU. I love you all so much, you don't understand. Thanks for your support and comments, they honestly mean the world to me.
Some of you guys commented on my last blog, so I'll be able to use your name.
Warning: The following girls are so amazing you'll forget to breathe.
Wow. Hahaha. Amazing. I never imagined that I'd get a song-writing contract or be in a magazine. It's almost like a dream coming true. ;)
I promised you guys this blog will be dedicated to you all! And I'm keeping my promise no doubt!
I also promised to post a song I wrote just yesterday. :) It's called "Words Heal Like They Hurt". Let me know what you think? I'd love to hear your opinions!
You said I wasn't beautiful.
You said you didn't love me.
You called me all these nasty words.
I didn't believe in me, suddenly.
I cried and I cried
And I wished at night
That I could run away and die.
But then you came along and you said
That life is hard but there's no need to worry.
Even if that person doesn't say sorry.
[CHORUS]
But words can heal
As much as they can hurt.
They called you ugly.
But we called you beautiful.
Oh, words.. they can heal.
Like they hurt.
Look around, this is real.
It's time that you learned.
That words can hurt.
But words can heal.
If you're smart enough
You'll smile and the world
Will smile along with you..
You said you didn't like me.
And I wondered what type you liked.
Skinny, blonde hair, bikini?
I'm sorry that I'm not what you like.
And they came on along.
And wiped away my tears.
The words that said I'm beautiful.
The words that washed away my fears.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
You called me ugly.
And it cut me like a knife.
You said I wasn't pretty.
No, I wasn't alright.
But they called me amazing.
It healed, it was my cure.
They said I was beautiful.
And wiped away my tears.
So,
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Words can heal..
As much as they can hurt.
If you're afraid this isn't real.
Look around, I'm right here..
You said you didn't love me.
You called me all these nasty words.
I didn't believe in me, suddenly.
I cried and I cried
And I wished at night
That I could run away and die.
But then you came along and you said
That life is hard but there's no need to worry.
Even if that person doesn't say sorry.
[CHORUS]
But words can heal
As much as they can hurt.
They called you ugly.
But we called you beautiful.
Oh, words.. they can heal.
Like they hurt.
Look around, this is real.
It's time that you learned.
That words can hurt.
But words can heal.
If you're smart enough
You'll smile and the world
Will smile along with you..
You said you didn't like me.
And I wondered what type you liked.
Skinny, blonde hair, bikini?
I'm sorry that I'm not what you like.
And they came on along.
And wiped away my tears.
The words that said I'm beautiful.
The words that washed away my fears.
[REPEAT CHORUS]
You called me ugly.
And it cut me like a knife.
You said I wasn't pretty.
No, I wasn't alright.
But they called me amazing.
It healed, it was my cure.
They said I was beautiful.
And wiped away my tears.
So,
[REPEAT CHORUS]
Words can heal..
As much as they can hurt.
If you're afraid this isn't real.
Look around, I'm right here..
Soooo... what do ya'll think?!?! Leave a comment - I'd love to hear what you have to say!
Moving on now. I've said this a lot of times and I'm going to keep saying it. THANK YOU. You, you, you and even YOU. I love you all so much, you don't understand. Thanks for your support and comments, they honestly mean the world to me.
Some of you guys commented on my last blog, so I'll be able to use your name.
Warning: The following girls are so amazing you'll forget to breathe.
Abbey
(thanks for the YOU'RE FREAKING BEAUTIFUL!!!")
Emma
(you're just simply amazing. thanks for my mention in your blog!)
Chesneyh
(i'm sure you make bright purple uniform look amazing!)
Abbey
(you're inspiring for calling my blogs inspiring. thank you!)
Adge
(YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!! you can put a smile on my face any day)
Emily
(i'm honored to have inspired you to blog again!)
Jill
(i love you for loving to read my blogs. ha! thanks so much, seriously!)
Teagan
(i've known for a while; feels like years. thanks you for everything!)
Tash
(thanks so much for your comment. it means the world to me!!)
Stephanie
(you're so incredible! lovin ya!)
Jaimi
(you're always there to support me. thank you so much!)
(thanks for the YOU'RE FREAKING BEAUTIFUL!!!")
Emma
(you're just simply amazing. thanks for my mention in your blog!)
Chesneyh
(i'm sure you make bright purple uniform look amazing!)
Abbey
(you're inspiring for calling my blogs inspiring. thank you!)
Adge
(YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL!! you can put a smile on my face any day)
Emily
(i'm honored to have inspired you to blog again!)
Jill
(i love you for loving to read my blogs. ha! thanks so much, seriously!)
Teagan
(i've known for a while; feels like years. thanks you for everything!)
Tash
(thanks so much for your comment. it means the world to me!!)
Stephanie
(you're so incredible! lovin ya!)
Jaimi
(you're always there to support me. thank you so much!)
Of course, I'd like to thank every one of you, but these people commented on my last blog when I mentioned I'd be able to put their names in my blog! Remember, I LOVE YOU ALL!!! You guys are amazing. Inside and out. Without ya'll, I wouldn't even be writing. Honestly. You guys help me as much as you claim I help YOU! Thank you so much!!!
Tomorrow, look forward to a blog talking more about my past. Once again, thanks so much. I love you all sooooo much; you have nooo idea!! <33>
MY FFE GIRLS.
(you girls are amazing!!! love you guys!)
MY TWEETERS.
(tweet tweet all you can, still lovin' ya!)
MY BEST-FRIEND.
(you've been here since the beginning of all the changes. i love you so much)
(you girls are amazing!!! love you guys!)
MY TWEETERS.
(tweet tweet all you can, still lovin' ya!)
MY BEST-FRIEND.
(you've been here since the beginning of all the changes. i love you so much)
Tomorrow, look forward to a blog talking more about my past. Once again, thanks so much. I love you all sooooo much; you have nooo idea!! <33>
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
words heal like they hurt
I must say that I'm thankful to be able to share my stories to you guys and have you all relate to them and possibly even help and inspire you... Really, it means so much to me. And I will continue to thank you guys for your incredible support. :)
Before I begin, I'd like to remind you all.. TOMORROW! DOLLY'S SEPTEMBER ISSUE IS IN STORES. GO BUY A COPY!!!! Nooo, not because Robby Pattinson and that Bella chick are on the cover... but because I'M featured IN THE MAG! Ahhh! Buy a copy and you'll know allllllll about my story! :) Pictures and everything! Ahhh! Some of my friends were subscribed to Dolly, which means they get an issue earlier. And they kindly took a picture and showed me and I'm like "ahhhh!". So I CAN'T WAIT until Wednesday, (tomorrow), to get myself a copy.
Are you gonna get a copy?! Find it anywhere. From petrol-station stores to IGA to coles to Big W... :) Let me know what you think of my story once you do get a chance to get yourself a copy and read my article! Yes! :)
Okay, moving on now.. I must say that yesterday has been a great day for me. I'm not gonna like, jinx anything or anyone, so *knocks on the wood*... but I was actually happy. I felt good and proud and sort of special because I was fasting (it's the holy month of Ramadan) and school was good, and fun. & then I got home and found out about my feature in the September DOLLY. I live for these days, man. Honestly. I know that there's a lot of days where you just can't take it anymore.
You scream in your pillow. You cry like no tomorrow. (I think I feel a new song coming..) You blame yourself for the things life has thrown at you. (OMG, I think I'm actually inspired enough to write a song!!) You feel like you're alone in this huge world. You feel like nobody's listening. (Okay that's it, tomorrow's blog you're gonna see a new song no doubt!). You just don't feel like living and dealing with the things you don't want to deal with.
But then comes the days where you just seem to forget about that all and just... have fun. Smile. Those days you should cherish. Because they're going to over and you'll have to be faced with the same old bad times. But then the good days come again. And it just keeps coming back and forth.
Which brings me back to insecurity, somehow. You're not used to having a day that makes you happy. You don't know how to think or what to do. You look at yourself in the mirror and the only thing that has changed is the smile on your face.
But that should be enough.
Smile and the world, even me, will smile along with you.
Keep smiling and soon you'll take control over your life.
Sometimes when you're brought down, somebody complimenting you on... anything basically, is powerful enough to make you feel at least a bit better. Which reminds me of a time a while back.
I met this guy once. He was cute... really cute, actually. I was just standing there and thinking and then he interrupts my thoughts and says this exact line, "I don't mean to like, harass you or anything but you've got really good looking lips." Not kidding! Now, that time I was feeling really insecure about my looks so I didn't even look him in the eye before that.
But honestly, he complimented my LIPS. I immediately felt... important. Special. I was with another girl. She didn't get complimented. I did. It was like he knew I felt bad about myself.
I felt more secure about my looks after he compliments my LIPS.
That proves how much words can heal as much as they can hurt.
I kindly looked at him and smiled, "thaaaaaanks.." Ha.
All it takes is for somebody to call me beautiful and I'd be fine for most of the day. That's all. Beautiful. I wanted to be called beautiful because I didn't believe I WAS beautiful. I wanted somebody to yell at me. Yell at me for not believing. Say something like,
"Chin up man! Stop sooking!! You're freaking beautiful, don't you know that!!"
I would feel better if anybody told me that. Honestly, I would.
Anyway, that's it for today. I have loved sharing my past with you guys. And present. AND FUTURE *wink wink song-writing contract wink wink*. ;)
You guys are amazing. Your comments keep me writing. Honestly, they help me TOO. They show me that I'm not writing just to help myself and let things out... I'm writing to also help YOU guys.
I love you all. YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL! And I love you from the bottom of my heart until the very top. (Nick Jonas goes somewhere in between there). Ha, don't ya feel special now? *wink wink*.
I can't stop winking. It reminds me of when I wink at my 2 year old nephew who has gorgeouuuuus Nick J curls. He tries winking back at me and ends up flinching! Cuuuuute! Lovin' him. Lovin' God. Lovin' YOU!
:) Kisses and Hugs. <3 -Hiba
Before I begin, I'd like to remind you all.. TOMORROW! DOLLY'S SEPTEMBER ISSUE IS IN STORES. GO BUY A COPY!!!! Nooo, not because Robby Pattinson and that Bella chick are on the cover... but because I'M featured IN THE MAG! Ahhh! Buy a copy and you'll know allllllll about my story! :) Pictures and everything! Ahhh! Some of my friends were subscribed to Dolly, which means they get an issue earlier. And they kindly took a picture and showed me and I'm like "ahhhh!". So I CAN'T WAIT until Wednesday, (tomorrow), to get myself a copy.
Are you gonna get a copy?! Find it anywhere. From petrol-station stores to IGA to coles to Big W... :) Let me know what you think of my story once you do get a chance to get yourself a copy and read my article! Yes! :)
Okay, moving on now.. I must say that yesterday has been a great day for me. I'm not gonna like, jinx anything or anyone, so *knocks on the wood*... but I was actually happy. I felt good and proud and sort of special because I was fasting (it's the holy month of Ramadan) and school was good, and fun. & then I got home and found out about my feature in the September DOLLY. I live for these days, man. Honestly. I know that there's a lot of days where you just can't take it anymore.
You scream in your pillow. You cry like no tomorrow. (I think I feel a new song coming..) You blame yourself for the things life has thrown at you. (OMG, I think I'm actually inspired enough to write a song!!) You feel like you're alone in this huge world. You feel like nobody's listening. (Okay that's it, tomorrow's blog you're gonna see a new song no doubt!). You just don't feel like living and dealing with the things you don't want to deal with.
But then comes the days where you just seem to forget about that all and just... have fun. Smile. Those days you should cherish. Because they're going to over and you'll have to be faced with the same old bad times. But then the good days come again. And it just keeps coming back and forth.
Which brings me back to insecurity, somehow. You're not used to having a day that makes you happy. You don't know how to think or what to do. You look at yourself in the mirror and the only thing that has changed is the smile on your face.
But that should be enough.
Smile and the world, even me, will smile along with you.
Keep smiling and soon you'll take control over your life.
Sometimes when you're brought down, somebody complimenting you on... anything basically, is powerful enough to make you feel at least a bit better. Which reminds me of a time a while back.
I met this guy once. He was cute... really cute, actually. I was just standing there and thinking and then he interrupts my thoughts and says this exact line, "I don't mean to like, harass you or anything but you've got really good looking lips." Not kidding! Now, that time I was feeling really insecure about my looks so I didn't even look him in the eye before that.
But honestly, he complimented my LIPS. I immediately felt... important. Special. I was with another girl. She didn't get complimented. I did. It was like he knew I felt bad about myself.
I felt more secure about my looks after he compliments my LIPS.
That proves how much words can heal as much as they can hurt.
I kindly looked at him and smiled, "thaaaaaanks.." Ha.
All it takes is for somebody to call me beautiful and I'd be fine for most of the day. That's all. Beautiful. I wanted to be called beautiful because I didn't believe I WAS beautiful. I wanted somebody to yell at me. Yell at me for not believing. Say something like,
"Chin up man! Stop sooking!! You're freaking beautiful, don't you know that!!"
I would feel better if anybody told me that. Honestly, I would.
Anyway, that's it for today. I have loved sharing my past with you guys. And present. AND FUTURE *wink wink song-writing contract wink wink*. ;)
You guys are amazing. Your comments keep me writing. Honestly, they help me TOO. They show me that I'm not writing just to help myself and let things out... I'm writing to also help YOU guys.
I love you all. YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL! And I love you from the bottom of my heart until the very top. (Nick Jonas goes somewhere in between there). Ha, don't ya feel special now? *wink wink*.
I can't stop winking. It reminds me of when I wink at my 2 year old nephew who has gorgeouuuuus Nick J curls. He tries winking back at me and ends up flinching! Cuuuuute! Lovin' him. Lovin' God. Lovin' YOU!
:) Kisses and Hugs. <3 -Hiba
Monday, August 24, 2009
is it normal?
Have you ever been in a situation where you just want to crawl under a box and get away from everything? Have you ever been in a situation where the person you love, brings you fear? Have you ever tried to sleep at night, and was amazed about how many sheep you could count up to? Have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror and could pick out at least 10 different things you weren't happy about?
I think 1 out of 2 teenage girls have. It's normal. It's normal to think you're ugly when you're not. It's normal to find so many things wrong about yourself/your body. It's normal to think you're fat when you're not. But what's also normal is for people to tell you that you're beautiful. For people to not find anything wrong about you/your body. For people to be confused about the fact that you think you're fat... when really, you're not.
There was a time a few years ago when I couldn't wait to be in high school. Year 9. Year 9 for all of us was "cool". When you got to Year 9, you'd be classified as cool. But I didn't, to be really honest, think that anything would change except for what grade I'm in and how old I am. And probably my height. But I still thought I'd be able to still fit into those jeans. Or that shirt. Or that dress. I didn't think I'd grow out of them because I was so attached to being a kid and not taking responsibility for anything. Always relying on my parents.
When you start to grow up as a teenage girl, your body changes. I gained weight because of that reason. You can ask anybody I know and they'd tell you I don't eat a lot. I'm really fussy when it comes to food and I can't handle a lot of it. I don't eat most of the meals my mum makes. My mum even says I don't eat enough. But here I am, gaining weight and getting depressed. Over something that is normal. Not every girl goes through it, but most girls do. When you get your period, your body is getting used to a whole different system, I guess you can call it. So things will change.
But I was confused. Just like most girls, I was confused and I was lost. That's what I wrote "Will This Be All Over Soon" about. I didn't know what to do. I wanted God to send down a message. I didn't know if I should just wait or do something. I didn't know and I still don't know. I'm still waiting for a message. Of course, my mind changes every once in a while. One time, I'd actually lose weight. But the next day, I'd gain it all back.
And I didn't know why or how.
Have you ever known or heard about a teenager who has committed suicide because they didn't like their life? I'm not going to call them stupid because I've felt the same way. I haven't committed suicide, of course, or else I wouldn't even be typing this (and I would never kill myself, just to let you know. I know that God has a day planned for me where we will meet once again). But I know how it feels to wish, I guess you can put it, to die or.. just be out of this world. And run away.
But you know what keeps me strong? Me. I keep myself strong. I look at other people who've also had a bad teenage life, but as I look at them now, now that they're in their 20's; life is good for them. They took control of their life more.
That's what keeps me strong. I still believe.
As I write this, I'm wondering who is reading. A couple of people I know personally have told me they've read some of my blogs and they loved it, but who else? Is is somebody I know personally? Somebody I dislike? Somebody who hates me?
Either way, I'm still going to speak. I'm going to let things out. It's your choice whether to read my blogs or not. Of course, I'd love for you guys to have a read and comment. But I'm not exactly forcing you. It's your choice, in the end. I just needed somewhere to let things out and I've decided on a blog site. Of course... I'd love for you to comment telling me you're thoughts and if you related.
So thanks, once again. For everything. It means a lot to me. All of your comments, they mean the world to me.
And last of all... Thank you for listening to what I have to say. To what I have to share. THANK YOU so much. You have no idea how much this all means to me.
I love you beautiful people.
P.S I like how you've done your hair today. :)
(and no I'm not crazy. i'm not watching you either. but i still like the way you've done your hair today. Oh and I'm lovin' your style, guuuurl! Oh and those earrings! Amazing!)
Love you. xo -Hiba
I think 1 out of 2 teenage girls have. It's normal. It's normal to think you're ugly when you're not. It's normal to find so many things wrong about yourself/your body. It's normal to think you're fat when you're not. But what's also normal is for people to tell you that you're beautiful. For people to not find anything wrong about you/your body. For people to be confused about the fact that you think you're fat... when really, you're not.
There was a time a few years ago when I couldn't wait to be in high school. Year 9. Year 9 for all of us was "cool". When you got to Year 9, you'd be classified as cool. But I didn't, to be really honest, think that anything would change except for what grade I'm in and how old I am. And probably my height. But I still thought I'd be able to still fit into those jeans. Or that shirt. Or that dress. I didn't think I'd grow out of them because I was so attached to being a kid and not taking responsibility for anything. Always relying on my parents.
When you start to grow up as a teenage girl, your body changes. I gained weight because of that reason. You can ask anybody I know and they'd tell you I don't eat a lot. I'm really fussy when it comes to food and I can't handle a lot of it. I don't eat most of the meals my mum makes. My mum even says I don't eat enough. But here I am, gaining weight and getting depressed. Over something that is normal. Not every girl goes through it, but most girls do. When you get your period, your body is getting used to a whole different system, I guess you can call it. So things will change.
But I was confused. Just like most girls, I was confused and I was lost. That's what I wrote "Will This Be All Over Soon" about. I didn't know what to do. I wanted God to send down a message. I didn't know if I should just wait or do something. I didn't know and I still don't know. I'm still waiting for a message. Of course, my mind changes every once in a while. One time, I'd actually lose weight. But the next day, I'd gain it all back.
And I didn't know why or how.
Have you ever known or heard about a teenager who has committed suicide because they didn't like their life? I'm not going to call them stupid because I've felt the same way. I haven't committed suicide, of course, or else I wouldn't even be typing this (and I would never kill myself, just to let you know. I know that God has a day planned for me where we will meet once again). But I know how it feels to wish, I guess you can put it, to die or.. just be out of this world. And run away.
But you know what keeps me strong? Me. I keep myself strong. I look at other people who've also had a bad teenage life, but as I look at them now, now that they're in their 20's; life is good for them. They took control of their life more.
That's what keeps me strong. I still believe.
As I write this, I'm wondering who is reading. A couple of people I know personally have told me they've read some of my blogs and they loved it, but who else? Is is somebody I know personally? Somebody I dislike? Somebody who hates me?
Either way, I'm still going to speak. I'm going to let things out. It's your choice whether to read my blogs or not. Of course, I'd love for you guys to have a read and comment. But I'm not exactly forcing you. It's your choice, in the end. I just needed somewhere to let things out and I've decided on a blog site. Of course... I'd love for you to comment telling me you're thoughts and if you related.
So thanks, once again. For everything. It means a lot to me. All of your comments, they mean the world to me.
And last of all... Thank you for listening to what I have to say. To what I have to share. THANK YOU so much. You have no idea how much this all means to me.
I love you beautiful people.
P.S I like how you've done your hair today. :)
(and no I'm not crazy. i'm not watching you either. but i still like the way you've done your hair today. Oh and I'm lovin' your style, guuuurl! Oh and those earrings! Amazing!)
Love you. xo -Hiba
Sunday, August 23, 2009
just smile, and i'll smile too
Nothing can explain how thankful I am to have such wonderful readers who comment. So thank you. So, so, so much.
I've decided to skip straight to a story. The past is always more interesting than the present. My life is boring right now, so I don't think you're gonna wanna know about it. Unless you won't get bored if I started with: "Today I woke up, brushed my teeth, tied up my hair. I got dressed and stayed home. Checked my email, checked my Tweets. Wrote a new blog, ate then slept." I think you'll get bored if my whole blog was based on something like that. Ha.
Okay so, let's see what I've covered already:
-My love and faith for God (check)
-Insecurity (check)
-Appreciating (check)
-My horrible birthday (check)
I think I might start something new. Tell you about a whole different side in my life. I'm kinda sick of the depressing blogs that do nothing but bring back bad memories. Of course, they do make me feel better just by letting them out. But you're probably thinking my whole life is full of sadness by now.
Writing is a big part of my life. I love to write. Especially songs. My passion for writing has been growing on me ever since I was a little girl. Even if my songs or stories wouldn't make sense, I'd still write them and be proud of myself after doing so. Things didn't start to get serious for until I think it was last year.
I found out about a music business company, Paramount, from Nashville, U.S.A. They would give you chances to send in your own songs and if they liked them, they'd add music/melody's to them and send demo's off to people that actually sing.
I thought, why not? So I sent about 10 of my songs. A month later I got a letter in the mail from Paramount. They told me: "What great lyrics you've sent us! In fact, we believe that the talent you've displayed shows outstanding hit song potential," and they awarded me with a song-writing contract. I know, AMAZING! I could barley breathe. They chose 4 of the 10 songs I sent in.
In the contract, I had to agree on being responsible for the instruments they use in my songs. Which means I had to pay for them. At first I kinda gave up, because I didn't know how or what to do. But when I told my teacher, she told me she'd be glad to help. So my school is doing a fund-raising day where most of the money would go to me. I am soo thankful that this day has come. So I'm going to appreciate it. Even when the times come where I just sit back and think, "who am I kidding? I'll never reach my dream."
Second, have you ever read DOLLY Magazine? Well, a few months back, I sent my story about how I got a song-writing contract all the way from America. They sent back saying they'd love to have me featured in their magazine. They wanted to call me first, though, for an interview. I asked my dad and he goes sure, so I sent my number and a week later they called. I felt like a celebrity for the whole interview.
"What do you write about? When did you start writing? Who's your inspiration? Do you ever have a writers block?"
They asked me questions like those. Then, they sent me a form which I had to get my daddy to sign in order for me to be in the magazine. He signed it, I sent if off, they sent another email asking for pictures.
Now I'm just waiting for the September issue to come out, because I'm most likely in it! Make sure ya'll check back on: Twitter, FFE, & THIS BLOG, so I can let you guys know when it's out.. if you wanna buy it... I mean, if ya wanna.. Ha.
It's been an amazing journey for me, and I haven't even left the country. I'm still 14, I know that I have a lot to look forward to, but I'm choosing to go after my dream from today. I don't want to finish year 12 and be one of those people who just sit back and say, "shit. What am I gonna do now?" Cause I've seen people waste their lives on nothing.
I don't want to just get married and have kids. I want to make something out of my life. Of course, I DO want to get married one day and have kids. But I don't want to rush anything.
Thanks for reading guys. I think tomorrow they'll be more "depressing" blogs. Ha. But I just thought I'd share with you guys about the happy part of my life. Unfortunately, my whole life isn't "happy".. but nobody's is.
Once again, thank YOU SO much. It means a lot to me when you read and comment on my blogs. Remember, you're beautiful. Reach out for happiness, and the happiness will come to you.
I love you all!! -Hiba
I've decided to skip straight to a story. The past is always more interesting than the present. My life is boring right now, so I don't think you're gonna wanna know about it. Unless you won't get bored if I started with: "Today I woke up, brushed my teeth, tied up my hair. I got dressed and stayed home. Checked my email, checked my Tweets. Wrote a new blog, ate then slept." I think you'll get bored if my whole blog was based on something like that. Ha.
Okay so, let's see what I've covered already:
-My love and faith for God (check)
-Insecurity (check)
-Appreciating (check)
-My horrible birthday (check)
I think I might start something new. Tell you about a whole different side in my life. I'm kinda sick of the depressing blogs that do nothing but bring back bad memories. Of course, they do make me feel better just by letting them out. But you're probably thinking my whole life is full of sadness by now.
Writing is a big part of my life. I love to write. Especially songs. My passion for writing has been growing on me ever since I was a little girl. Even if my songs or stories wouldn't make sense, I'd still write them and be proud of myself after doing so. Things didn't start to get serious for until I think it was last year.
I found out about a music business company, Paramount, from Nashville, U.S.A. They would give you chances to send in your own songs and if they liked them, they'd add music/melody's to them and send demo's off to people that actually sing.
I thought, why not? So I sent about 10 of my songs. A month later I got a letter in the mail from Paramount. They told me: "What great lyrics you've sent us! In fact, we believe that the talent you've displayed shows outstanding hit song potential," and they awarded me with a song-writing contract. I know, AMAZING! I could barley breathe. They chose 4 of the 10 songs I sent in.
In the contract, I had to agree on being responsible for the instruments they use in my songs. Which means I had to pay for them. At first I kinda gave up, because I didn't know how or what to do. But when I told my teacher, she told me she'd be glad to help. So my school is doing a fund-raising day where most of the money would go to me. I am soo thankful that this day has come. So I'm going to appreciate it. Even when the times come where I just sit back and think, "who am I kidding? I'll never reach my dream."
Second, have you ever read DOLLY Magazine? Well, a few months back, I sent my story about how I got a song-writing contract all the way from America. They sent back saying they'd love to have me featured in their magazine. They wanted to call me first, though, for an interview. I asked my dad and he goes sure, so I sent my number and a week later they called. I felt like a celebrity for the whole interview.
"What do you write about? When did you start writing? Who's your inspiration? Do you ever have a writers block?"
They asked me questions like those. Then, they sent me a form which I had to get my daddy to sign in order for me to be in the magazine. He signed it, I sent if off, they sent another email asking for pictures.
Now I'm just waiting for the September issue to come out, because I'm most likely in it! Make sure ya'll check back on: Twitter, FFE, & THIS BLOG, so I can let you guys know when it's out.. if you wanna buy it... I mean, if ya wanna.. Ha.
It's been an amazing journey for me, and I haven't even left the country. I'm still 14, I know that I have a lot to look forward to, but I'm choosing to go after my dream from today. I don't want to finish year 12 and be one of those people who just sit back and say, "shit. What am I gonna do now?" Cause I've seen people waste their lives on nothing.
I don't want to just get married and have kids. I want to make something out of my life. Of course, I DO want to get married one day and have kids. But I don't want to rush anything.
Thanks for reading guys. I think tomorrow they'll be more "depressing" blogs. Ha. But I just thought I'd share with you guys about the happy part of my life. Unfortunately, my whole life isn't "happy".. but nobody's is.
Once again, thank YOU SO much. It means a lot to me when you read and comment on my blogs. Remember, you're beautiful. Reach out for happiness, and the happiness will come to you.
I love you all!! -Hiba
black saturday
I'd like to start off this blog by thanking each and every one of you for being such amazing supporters. There was one comment recently that just blew me away. Nothing can explain exactly how much it means to me to share my story and for others to relate to it. Not only does it prove that none of us are alone, but it also proves that I'm not just writing blogs for the sake of writing a blog.
I started this blog because I got inspired by Christa Black. I read HER blogs and they touched my heart. So I thought, why not? I could start my own blog. She gave me the confidence to share my story with you guys.
So I started a blog. I spoke about lots of things that have happened to me before. I spoke about insecurity, the one thing all girls can relate to. I am so, so grateful to be able to share my story and have other girls in the world relate. I love you guys so much, did I ever mention that? :)
As much as I'd love to keep thanking you, I must go on.
When I turned 14, on February the 7th 2009.. This day was labeled Black Saturday forever. The reason being, the Victoria bushfire had started that day and went on for weeks, killing soo many people. It was a scary time, and it was one of Australia's biggest natural disasters. But MY reason being.. this day was dull. Dark. Black.
February the 7th 2009.. I turned 14. It was my birthday. What did I do? Nothing. It was a hot, windy day and there was nothing to do. I had a mosquito bite on the right eye-lid, which made my eye look like it had been punched out. I had a cold-sore on my lip and it looked ugly. I was struggling with my weight and thought I looked like an over-sized bin. I looked like a trainwreck, and I didn't like looking like a trainwreck.. especially on my birthday. I didn't want to go out, anyway, looking like a trainwreck.
I cried. I cried, on my birthday. Which, I might add, is one the worst feeling's you can ever experience. A birthday is supposed to be filled with happiness and celebrations, presents and warm hugs. I did get presents, but I didn't feel special.
A few days ago, me and my best-friend were talking. The teacher said something about how a "dog is a man's bestfriend". And I was a bit upset that day, so I said, "a dog is a man's best-friend because that man is a dog." It was quite funny but true. It's like, the only reason that a dog is a that man's bestfriend is because that man finds himself relating to that dog.
I'm not saying all men are like this, and who am I kidding, I haven't even gone out into the real world yet. But what you experience when you're in high-school, it's something you're always going to remember. Even when you've found somebody who you will get married to one day. Even when you have children, who become teenagers, dealing with the same things you dealt with.
You'll be able to sit there and say, "I remember the first time I fell in love.." Instead of "Boys are stupid." Your kids are going to need you when they grow up. Trust me. I haven't experienced THAT one yet (hahah), but I'm not going to let my kids down. In fact, I hope this blog will still be up when I do get children, in years time. So they can read my blogs, the ones I had written when I was their age.
Once again, thank you SO much for commenting and reading. You have no clue how much this all means to me. Thank you CHRISTA BLACK for giving me the confidence to share my story. Thank you MY FFE GIRLS for being there for me always. Thank you RIMA for being such a loyal best-friend. Thank you YOU..
For being beautiful and believing it.
Because you know you ARE beautiful and you DO believe it.
But sometimes it's like.. you don't believe in what you believe. If you know what I mean. You don't believe in what you think about yourself. You look in the mirror and you compliment just one little thing, like pretty eyelashes. You smile for a second but then you just... give up. You don't believe.
But all I'm trying to tell you... is to BELIEVE. Life is FULL of rough times. But if you BELIEVE, the good times will find you, too. I love you all!
You're all beautiful. You're all stunners. You're all PERFECT. GOD knows that. GOD LOVES UGLY. He DOESN'T see the way you see. And that's what matters. Ugly isn't about the bad side. Ugly can mean beautiful.
In fact, if somebody calls you "beautifully ugly", would you be as cut as you would be if somebody just called you "ugly"? No.
Because beautiful is a strong word. It represents EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
In fact, I just looked up "beautiful" in the dictionary, and there was a lot of pages filled with pictures of YOU GUYS. YOU are yourself. YOU are beautiful. YOU are the definition OF beautiful!
Love you all! Have a great day and know that I'm thinking of you. xoxo -Hiba
I started this blog because I got inspired by Christa Black. I read HER blogs and they touched my heart. So I thought, why not? I could start my own blog. She gave me the confidence to share my story with you guys.
So I started a blog. I spoke about lots of things that have happened to me before. I spoke about insecurity, the one thing all girls can relate to. I am so, so grateful to be able to share my story and have other girls in the world relate. I love you guys so much, did I ever mention that? :)
As much as I'd love to keep thanking you, I must go on.
When I turned 14, on February the 7th 2009.. This day was labeled Black Saturday forever. The reason being, the Victoria bushfire had started that day and went on for weeks, killing soo many people. It was a scary time, and it was one of Australia's biggest natural disasters. But MY reason being.. this day was dull. Dark. Black.
February the 7th 2009.. I turned 14. It was my birthday. What did I do? Nothing. It was a hot, windy day and there was nothing to do. I had a mosquito bite on the right eye-lid, which made my eye look like it had been punched out. I had a cold-sore on my lip and it looked ugly. I was struggling with my weight and thought I looked like an over-sized bin. I looked like a trainwreck, and I didn't like looking like a trainwreck.. especially on my birthday. I didn't want to go out, anyway, looking like a trainwreck.
I cried. I cried, on my birthday. Which, I might add, is one the worst feeling's you can ever experience. A birthday is supposed to be filled with happiness and celebrations, presents and warm hugs. I did get presents, but I didn't feel special.
A few days ago, me and my best-friend were talking. The teacher said something about how a "dog is a man's bestfriend". And I was a bit upset that day, so I said, "a dog is a man's best-friend because that man is a dog." It was quite funny but true. It's like, the only reason that a dog is a that man's bestfriend is because that man finds himself relating to that dog.
I'm not saying all men are like this, and who am I kidding, I haven't even gone out into the real world yet. But what you experience when you're in high-school, it's something you're always going to remember. Even when you've found somebody who you will get married to one day. Even when you have children, who become teenagers, dealing with the same things you dealt with.
You'll be able to sit there and say, "I remember the first time I fell in love.." Instead of "Boys are stupid." Your kids are going to need you when they grow up. Trust me. I haven't experienced THAT one yet (hahah), but I'm not going to let my kids down. In fact, I hope this blog will still be up when I do get children, in years time. So they can read my blogs, the ones I had written when I was their age.
Once again, thank you SO much for commenting and reading. You have no clue how much this all means to me. Thank you CHRISTA BLACK for giving me the confidence to share my story. Thank you MY FFE GIRLS for being there for me always. Thank you RIMA for being such a loyal best-friend. Thank you YOU..
For being beautiful and believing it.
Because you know you ARE beautiful and you DO believe it.
But sometimes it's like.. you don't believe in what you believe. If you know what I mean. You don't believe in what you think about yourself. You look in the mirror and you compliment just one little thing, like pretty eyelashes. You smile for a second but then you just... give up. You don't believe.
But all I'm trying to tell you... is to BELIEVE. Life is FULL of rough times. But if you BELIEVE, the good times will find you, too. I love you all!
You're all beautiful. You're all stunners. You're all PERFECT. GOD knows that. GOD LOVES UGLY. He DOESN'T see the way you see. And that's what matters. Ugly isn't about the bad side. Ugly can mean beautiful.
In fact, if somebody calls you "beautifully ugly", would you be as cut as you would be if somebody just called you "ugly"? No.
Because beautiful is a strong word. It represents EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU.
In fact, I just looked up "beautiful" in the dictionary, and there was a lot of pages filled with pictures of YOU GUYS. YOU are yourself. YOU are beautiful. YOU are the definition OF beautiful!
Love you all! Have a great day and know that I'm thinking of you. xoxo -Hiba
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